


Sideways

by TwinWolfCities



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Aged-Up Hiro, Multi, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Non-Graphic Violence, Original Character(s), Panic Attacks, Rape Recovery, Sibling Incest, Suicidal Thoughts, eventual hidashi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-07
Updated: 2015-01-11
Packaged: 2018-02-28 12:55:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 14
Words: 35,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2733332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwinWolfCities/pseuds/TwinWolfCities
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything in Hiro's life seems to be conspiring to tip his world over sideways, and without help he's afraid he'll drown in the emotional aftermath.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this fic since I first saw the movie (almost a month ago now - I'm a slow writer) so it's pretty well done. I just need to polish up the chapters a bit before posting them so I'll be updating twice a week. It's the first fic that I'm putting on AO3 so if you notice anything that I've done wrong with warnings or any missing tags please let me know. Likewise if you spot grammatical or spelling errors let me know so I can attempt to fix it. All that said I hope you enjoy reading. Comments and kudos are appreciated. Also to cover my bases: I do not own Big Hero 6 nor do I claim any sort of ownership.
> 
> Title comes from the song Sideways by Santana and Citizen Cope

Despite what Tadashi thought Hiro knew that bot fighting was _not_ his best idea. It wasn't something he had just started on a whim either. He had always been interested in robotics and had built his first battle bot at a young age. It was a great piece of tech but it never made it into the ring instead occupying a spot of honor on one of Hiro's shelves. Megabot hadn't been made until much later when Hiro started changing.

  
For most of his life Hiro had been a heavy sleeper. During his time in high school Tadashi sometimes had to physically get him out of bed in order to get him to classes on time. There had been more than one time when Hiro hadn't even woken up until his brother put him in the tub of their shared bathroom and turned the water on before leaving him to try to struggle out of his soaked PJs. He didn't manage that kind of sleep anymore though. Now his rest was constantly interrupted. Sometimes it was Mochi jumping on the bed to sleep with him. Other times it was his Aunt Cass getting a glass of water in the night on the floor below. It could also be the vague but stimulating dreams that came with the onset of puberty.

  
The worst kind of unintentional wake up call was the early morning kind though. He would come out of sleep slowly vaguely aware of shifting fabric and heavy breathing from his brother's part of the room. It wouldn't be until he heard a muted moan that he would fully wake. The first time he woke up this way he had thought that Tadashi had been having a nightmare and had been going to wake him until he turned over in bed and saw his brother's silhouette on the screen between their beds. The street light outside his brother's window had cast just enough light to be sure that his brother was already awake and that he was not having a nightmare.

  
Hiro had turned back over and pretended to be asleep still, too embarrassed to interrupt his brother. Once he was aware though it seemed like his ears had been made hyper sensitive to every sound his brother made. His body had started responding in ways that he didn't want and his mind had supplied him images without prompting. When he had finally heard a choked off moan and the sounds stopped he had to quickly bury his face in his pillow to hide his own heavy breathing as his brother passed his bed on the way to their bathroom. He heard the shower turn on and felt safe enough to turn his head so he could breathe properly. Almost immediately he had been hit by the musky smell emanating from the other side of the room.

  
By then his increased circulation had made him uncomfortably warm and sweaty and he had wanted nothing more than to kick his covers off for some relief, but he knew that his brother's shower probably wouldn't last long. Certainly not long enough for him to take care of the erection currently making a noticeable tent in his loose sleep pants. The thought of being caught so exposed by Tadashi had been both exciting and mortifying. Hiro had been all too aware of the first drops of precum leaking from his head before slowly running down his shaft. It was torture not to touch himself but he had resisted by fisting his hands in his sheets. He hated puberty.

  
He was almost trembling with restraint when he finally heard the shower turn off. He had hurried to roll onto his belly and bury his face back in his pillow before his brother came out of the bathroom. Unfortunately that action put pressure on the throbbing area between his legs and he had to bite his pillow to hide a moan. Luckily enough Tadashi had seemed in a hurry to get ready so it wasn't long before he left their shared room leaving Hiro free to lay in bed as long as he needed to will away his hard on. Eventually he had given up and got out of bed to take a cold shower. The following days would be spent in a haze of confusion and guilt, but it wouldn't be the last time he woke that way by a long shot.

  
The first time was the worst, but the following times weren't really any better. The only thing that changed was that he had accepted that he had a problem now. He had no idea how long Tadashi had been masturbating in their room while he slept, but now that he knew the thought was never far from the front of his mind and neither were the fantasies. He tried everything that he could in order to redirect his thoughts. He tried finding someone to date, but as a high school student that was just starting puberty he wasn't having any luck. He tried porn, and that had only made things worse. He had even tried finding a prostitute in a moment of desperation.

  
Some months into his search he had finally found a prostitute (read learned to recognize one and how to speak to one) but had had his cash and advances rejected due to his perceived age. He had never before hated the fact that he was small for his age that much. It had been on the defeated trudge home that he had come across one of the illegal bot fights held regularly in San Fransokyo. He had used the money he'd intended to use on the prostitute to cover the spectator fee, and had used some of the change to place bets. Thanks to his knowledge of robotics he could pick the winners fairly easily, but the bot fighters themselves were a wild card. It didn't matter how good the bot was if the fighter couldn't operate it. Regardless he could read people well enough that he won more than he lost and when he went home late that night his pockets were comfortably lined. The cash had been the initial draw to bot fighting, robotics wasn't a cheap hobby. There were other ways to get money though and after the second time he was nearly mugged he was just about ready to quit going to bot fights. That changed when he discovered the second draw.

  
He had figured not long into his new activities that he stood to make more money as a fighter than a spectator and had begun building his own bot. It was then that he discovered that long nights working on Megabot induced the sort of exhaustion that let him sleep through just about anything including his brother's morning rituals. As it turned out, running from angry gangsters was even better because not only did he sleep heavier he was also usually so exhausted that he didn't even dream. The respite from his sexual obsession with his older brother was enough for him to ignore all of the dangers associated with the illegal bot fights. Well not ignore entirely, he did start carrying mace and a stun gun after the first time he was caught by one of the gangsters.

  
Oddly enough the broken ribs that resulted from his first time getting caught wasn't the worst part of the experience. The worst part was that Tadashi had found out about his illegal habits and took to shadowing him on his outings. Tadashi had of course quickly learned about Hiro's skill level when it came to sneaking out. Pretty soon every time that Hiro came back from a fight, no matter how late Tadashi was sitting up waiting on him. Tadashi would perform basic first aid on any cuts or bruises he received while escaping his latest hustling victims all while lecturing him about the dangers of bot fighting.

  
None of the words ever hit home though because Hiro was always too distracted by the feel of Tadashi's hands as he checked him for injuries. Despite his brother's good intentions his actions only made Hiro more desperate to get away and exhaust himself more. After his arm was broken the first time there was a brief stint where Tadashi tried sleeping in Hiro's bed with him in order to keep him from feigning sleep until he could sneak out. Hiro hadn't slept at all. He had been too focused on the warm body pressed to his back and the arm snaked around his waist to keep him from slipping out after Tadashi fell asleep. Even worse was his brother's scent and the feel of his steady breaths hitting the back of Hiro's neck. He had tried to wiggle free but that had only resulted in Tadashi grumbling and pulling him closer.

  
The following mornings he would lock himself in the bathroom unable to face his brother. He couldn't take showers with his cast on, so he had ended up jerking himself off in the bathtub. He imagined his brother's hands on him the entire time, and he hated himself for it. In order to avoid the sleepless nights he started sneaking out of the house in the mornings and spending his days in town where his brother couldn't keep tabs on him before going to the fights at night. In response his brother stated adding GPS chips to his clothes. For awhile it was almost a game to try to find which clothing article had been bugged where, remove it, and leave it in the oddest place possible (The best so far had been when he slipped it into some lady's purse. Tadashi had been furious.) before going to the fights.

  
The game had ended when Tadashi finally managed to effectively chip him which was probably the only thing that saved him from Yama. Following that night he had thought that he was done with bot fighting. He had gotten absorbed in designing something new in order to impress Callaghan so that he could get into nerd school. He had exhausted himself every night working on his micro bots, but it hadn't been enough. He had been working closely with his brother the entire time, Tadashi became his muse. Whenever he couldn't figure something out or needed extra motivation or inspiration he would talk things out with his brother. In some ways it was even worse than the stint of Tadashi invading his bed. Now it wasn't just his brother's body that turned him on, but his intellect as well. He held a brief hope that his affections could be redirected to one of his brother's friends when he met them, but instead they brought out a jealous possessive side of Hiro. He did his best not to give them the cold shoulder and after awhile they bonded enough to be his friends too which helped ease his jealousy when they had his brother's attention.

  
It all got to be too much. He started having dreams that never made it past him and Tadashi cuddling on their couch on a rainy day with his brother occasionally pressing a soft kiss behind his ear. Somehow they brought with them a longing and a hurt that was almost impossible to ignore. He wanted his brother so bad. Not just for his body, he wanted to be the one his brother shared his life with. He wanted them to have a future. He wanted his brother to be happy with him and only him. It had been over two years since his perverted obsession with his brother began and it hadn't gone away. It had only gotten so much worse. He was in love and it wasn't fading away. He couldn't take it, he couldn't take another of those painfully sweet dreams. So he went bot fighting. On the night before the showcase.

  
He knew he was being impulsive and stupid, but he had to get out and away from Tadashi for a bit. He left in enough of a hurry that he only grabbed Megabot and its controller. He didn't realize he had forgotten his mace and stun gun until he was ring side and had already purposely lost his first match. He knew he was poking a hornets' nest, he wasn't even interested in the money. He was only interested in the chase that always followed. He purposely did his best to antagonize his opponent, who clearly had gang ties going by his tattoos. After he decimated the other bot in the ring he only grabbed the money in the pot as an afterthought. He was ready to run then, but his opponent only turned to him and shook his hand.

  
It threw him off. This wasn't what he had wanted, and there wasn't time to find another fight tonight. He turned toward the cafe to try and get a good nights sleep before the presentation the following day, but when he was only a few blocks away from his home something hit him in the back of the head. Hard. When he came to next there were people around. Roughly five guys, but he couldn't focus his eyes enough to be sure. His head hurt, and he could tell he wouldn't be able to stay conscious long. He watched as two of the guys went through his back pack pulling out and pocketing anything worthwhile. He passed out again when one of his assailants started going through his pockets.

  
The next time he came to he was being kicked all over. He felt something snap when someone stomped on his chest, and breathing started to hurt more. Everything hurt. Another kick got his head and he had half a second to be surprised that his neck didn't break with the force before he blacked out again. After that he was in and out only ever aware of what was happening for a couple seconds at a time. Rustling fabric as his clothes were cut and torn away. Muttering unintelligible protests as his legs were spread. The quiet scream he managed when he was penetrated. Trying to yell for help, but being unable to form words with the pounding in his head that was exacerbated with every thrust. Red and blue lights and wailing sirens chasing his assailants away. Throwing up as he was lifted onto a gurney. Paramedics trying to get his focus, but he couldn't understand. Finally the scream of his name from a familiar voice and a warm hand grabbing his before the doors to the ambulance closed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so first thing is first: thanks so much to RXP4070, InkStainsOnMyHands, hiddensonata, OhMeh, and Sorakus for your comments! I'm really glad that you've enjoyed so far, and hopefully future chapters won't disappoint although I should probably warn that things will get worse before they get better. Also I want to thank everyone who left Kudos! Every bit of positive feedback helps inspire me to write. Now that the important stuff is taken care of people who read tags might notice that I added two new ones. I noticed fairly quickly (for me) that I forgot a few important ones when I posted the first chapter so I fixed it. I'm only human though so again if anyone notices something that needs to be fixed please let me know. From here on I'm going to try to stick to a schedule of updating on Mondays and Thursdays - so the next chapter should be up Thursday. I think that that covers everything so without further ado here's the next chapter.

There was an edge of pain being held at bay by the fuzzy numbness of what could only be drugs. That paired with the smell of disinfectant and the beep of a heart monitor let Hiro know where he was. The firm but gentle grip on his hand let him know that he wasn't alone and that he was safe. The sun was bright through his eyelids, but he pried them open anyway blinking away the tears from his sensitized eyes being exposed to direct light. Tadashi was on his left side asleep in the visitor chair with his head tilted back in a way that couldn't be good for his neck. There were dark bags under his brother's eyes indicating that he hadn't been getting enough sleep and so Hiro remained quiet to let his slumber continue.

Hiro's resolve to let his older brother rest was quickly wearing away as he realized how thirsty he was. He could see a cup of water on a table across the room, but he didn't feel anywhere near capable of getting it on his own. He could page a nurse, but with one hand held by his brother and the other held by a sling around the attached arm he wasn't sure how to press the necessary button. He could wait a few minutes in the hope that a nurse came in, but he wasn't sure that was the best option. If he woke Tadashi up and had him get the cup he could send his brother home to get some sleep in an actual bed, but he wasn't sure he was ready to face his brother yet.

This whole thing was Hiro's fault. He had known it was stupid to bot fight. He had known from previous experience that it could end with him being injured. He just hadn't thought that something like this would happen to him. He wasn't sure he could even look his brother in the eye now. He loved his brother and he felt safe around him, but he also felt ashamed. If he had just stayed home none of this would have happened. If he could control himself around Tadashi none of this would have happened. If he wasn't such a sick individual none of this would have happened. Maybe. Maybe he deserved what happened. Maybe it was punishment for how he felt about Tadashi.

No. No one deserved what happened to him. He knew as much on a logical plane of thinking, but he couldn't get rid of the dark whispers at the back of his mind. He was afraid that Tadashi would hate him for what happened. Afraid that Tadashi would be angry with him. He was afraid of so many things now that he never had been before, but mostly he was afraid that Tadashi wouldn't want to be there for him anymore. He needed his brother. He needed him to get through this. There was no one else he could trust enough to count on outside his family, and his aunt had a business to run. The only way for him to find out what his brother's reaction to him would be, and to find out what else lay in store for him was to press forward. He didn't have much control over the situation so he made the choice to use what little control he had.

“Ta-” His attempt at calling his brother was cut short by a coughing fit, he hadn't realized that his throat was so dry. The coughing brought sharp pain from his collarbone and ribs which made him feel like he was going to throw up even though his stomach felt empty. He saw Tadashi startle awake and then his brother hurried to help him sit up and began rubbing his back. As soon as he was able to breathe normally again there was a straw by his lips that he took greedy sips from.

“The nurse will be here in a minute Hiro. Stay awake.” The sound of Tadashi's voice banished some of the coldness that had taken hold in his chest without him noticing. The note of pleading in the last two words put a squeeze on his heart though. 

“Tadashi. I'm sorry.” His brother retrieved the hand he had let go when helping Hiro and held it firmly. 

“Shh. It's going to be okay Hiro.” Tears were welling up in his eyes and he couldn't hold them back, something that he saw matched in the older Hamada's eyes.

“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I was stupid. I'm sorry. It's all my fault. I'm sorry Tadashi.” His brother wrapped him in a loose hug being mindful of his injuries.

“No. No Hiro. It isn't your fault, and the ones responsible have been caught. You're safe now and I won't ever let anyone hurt you again.” There was a light knock on the door announcing the arrival of the nurse and Tadashi let go of him standing up to talk to her. 

“He just woke up a few minutes ago. I'm going to go tell our aunt. I'll be back in a bit so please stay until I get back if possible.” She nodded and stood aside so that he could exit before coming to the side of Hiro's bed. He did his best to stop the flow of tears as she sat down beside him where Tadashi had been.

“Hello Hiro, my name is Melinda. I have a few tests and questions for you and then I'll let you be, but if you're up for it the police would like to take your statement later. Do you understand?” He nodded not quite able to talk without crying yet. “Okay first I want you to hold your head still and follow my finger with your eyes.” He did as told and watched as she scribbled some notes on a clipboard. “Good. Now, please state your full name and the names of your family members as well as their relation to you.” The nurse's professional demeanor helped him to calm down and give a stable answer.

“I'm Hiro Hamada, my brother is Tadashi Hamada, and my aunt is Cass Hamada.” He didn't want to do this right now. He wanted to be alone. No, he wanted Tadashi.

“Good, now how old are you?” He wondered briefly if he could get her to go away by just being uncooperative, but figured that he would have to go through the tests eventually so he might as well get it done with now.

“Fifteen.” How much longer could this go on for anyway?

“Okay, now I want you to close your eyes and turn your head left then right, then up and down before facing center again.” As he did he began to feel dizzy, reaching out to hold on to the side bar on his bed to stabilize himself. He opened his eyes and tried taking even breaths to fight the nausea creeping up on him.

“Fuck.” The nurse had a bucket in front of him just in time as he lost the water he had just drank and some bile. His ribs hurt even more and he was suddenly exhausted. He also felt like crying again and he didn't know why which was frustrating.

“It's okay Hiro, do your best to breathe. I'm going to take your vitals and that will be all for today. If you're experiencing pain I can give you something, but I need you to rest for the remainder of the day - that means mentally as well as physically.” Somehow he was sure that that wouldn't be a problem, he just wanted to pass out for the next hundred years. He waited patiently while she collected whatever data she needed from his body. Before she left she asked him to rate his pain. When she did go she closed the blinds in his room and turned off the lights. Just as he was about to fall asleep he heard his brother's voice and struggled back to alertness.

“How is he?” The nurse that had just been in his room was the one to respond.

“As you know he suffered a concussion in the attack. He is still experiencing the symptoms and may continue to experience them for sometime. The best thing for him right now is rest - both mental and physical. There will be a doctor here to determine the extent of the damage tomorrow, but he'll probably have to stay a few days for observation before he'll be able to go home. He might be able to go home sooner if you can guarantee that he'll be under constant supervision.” A deep sigh that no doubt came from his brother probably complete with a hand ran through his hair as a physical expression of the stress he was under. Just one more thing for Hiro to feel guilty about.

“Right, thank you.” A sound of affirmation from the nurse.

“You're welcome, I hope the recovery goes well.” He heard her light steps headed away from the room followed by his door swinging open and his brother entering.

“You awake Hiro?” He didn't say anything but his brother seemed to know. “Aunt Cass can't come in right now because of the cafe, but she's closing early tomorrow to come visit. Gogo, Honey, Wasabi, and Fred want to come too but I was thinking you might appreciate it more once you're home. You've been out for eleven days you know. The showcase is done, but there are other ways for you to get in if you still want to go to San Fransokyo Tech...Everyone was so worried Hiro. I was so afraid that I'd lose you. I'm going to be here for you for everything. I just want you to know that you're not alone Hiro, and I love you.” That hurt more than any of his other injuries. He wanted and needed his brother's love desperately right now, but in more than the offered form. After everything he was still stuck on Tadashi. 

“Go home nii-san, get some sleep.” It wasn't right to dismiss him like that, but if Hiro couldn't have him in every way then he didn't want him at all right now.

“Okay. If that's what you really want. Are you sure?” The hurt in the other male's voice was obvious.

“Yeah. Take a shower too, you stink. I'll see you tomorrow. Bring my pillow when you come back.” He needed time and space right now to figure things out, but he also needed the support of his friends and family. It was a dichotomy that made it feel like he was being torn apart. 

“Okay. I'll be here with Aunt Cass tomorrow. Text me if you need anything else. Oh, I almost forgot, you have a new phone now. Yours was broken when. Well here.” His brother slid a new and alien phone into his hands. One that didn't have any of the dents and dings his had earned during its time with him. It was another ache to add to the pile, although he wasn't sure why the loss hit so hard. Just before he left Tadashi placed a soft kiss on Hiro's forehead – something that he hadn't done in several years. Hiro held his tears until his brother had left. When he did start sobbing it didn't last long before he finally fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First thing that I want to cover here is that this chapter depicts a panic attack. I'm hoping that's not a problem for anyone, but I wanted to at least give fair warning in case. Second thing is the appearance of my OC. She plays a relatively minor, but necessary part in the story. I generally prefer not to use OCs when possible because this is fanfiction and I prefer to use the available characters, but I felt it was needed. Comments and kudos are welcomed and encouraged. Also please let me know if you find any errors while reading. The next chapter should be up on Monday barring complications. Last, but not least thanks to everyone who left kudos, and thanks to treacherousshadows, RXP4070, Sultan, hiddensonata, megabot_kid, and lilenchantress for your comments. All the feedback really helped me work through some writer's block I was having.

The hospital was discharging him today. It was a week after he had woken up and they had wanted to maybe keep him longer, but the bills were stacking up and there was really no reason with Baymax at home to monitor him. He had largely healed from the sexual part of the assault by the time he woke up, he was still a bit sore but apparently the only things for him to do were take warm baths and stay away from solids. His ribs would need to heal on their own with rest, and the same went for his bruises and lacerations. He had gone to a few physical therapy sessions for his collarbone, but now that he had the exercises down he would only need to come back a few times to check his progress. He had also had an altogether different type of therapy session. 

He wasn't sure if it was a requirement per his aunt Cass, or per the hospital but either way it had been horrible. Hiro's memory of the attack was pretty patchy. He wasn't sure if it was because of amnesia from his concussion or if he was just unconscious. The therapist had been nice enough, but had seemed to think that he was holding back from opening up. In truth Hiro was holding back a bit, and when paired with his lack of memory he hadn't talked about much with the therapist. The doctor had given a recommendation for more sessions to his brother when Tadashi came to pick him up from the first one, but Hiro had no intention of going back. The thought of telling someone about the parts of the attack that he did remember made him feel sick to his stomach with anxiety. 

A new development from the attack, and probably his concussion, was that he had started having the occasional mood swing. It wasn't big, but sometimes he would be sad to the point of tears or angry for no apparent reason. It was frustrating, but he didn't want to talk about it with anyone because he felt afraid of being alone with almost everyone now. The exceptions were his aunt and brother. Unfortunately that meant that he spent more and more time with his brother. Normally it wouldn't be bad, but he was becoming more dependent on Tadashi and with his feelings it was like placing a feast before a starving man and not letting him eat.

Tadashi had become integral to his well being. Hiro wished more than anything that he could get rid of his inappropriate feelings. He wasn't sure he could continue with his inaction on the matter, and if he did act he stood to lose everything. He had enough on his plate right now without having to worry about his love for his brother coming to light. Maybe he should continue the therapy. He would find a different therapist if he did, he didn't feel comfortable discussing what had happened and his incestuous leanings with a man, but how would he know that he could trust them to keep his innermost thoughts and feelings secret?

“Hiro?” He was startled out of his thoughts by his aunt entering the room. His abrupt movement jostled his sling and he had to hold still and concentrate on breathing while his collarbone admonished him. “Oh, I'm so sorry! Do you need me to get a nurse honey? When did you have your last dose of pain medicine? I'll get someone.” He hurried to stop her from leaving by grabbing her elbow with his good arm.

“I'm fine aunt Cass. I had my last dose a few hours ago, and I don't want another one. I'm ready to go home.” She covered his hand with hers and smiled gently.

“Okay, they gave me a prescription for you to fill on the way home. They said it's for a mild pain killer and that you need to take it even if you don't hurt because it's also an anti inflammatory. After we pick that up we'll get you back home bundled up in your own bed okay kiddo?” That sounded better than okay. It sounded like the best idea he had heard since he had woken up here.

“Yeah, let's go.” He slid out of bed carefully to avoid unnecessary pain and grabbed his pillow. Hiro had dressed earlier in the day so that he could get out of the hospital as quickly as possible. The outfit he had on was different from what he normally wore, but he had found when his brother brought him one of his many pairs of khaki shorts earlier that having skin exposed made him feel vulnerable so for today he was sticking with a sweat suit. It was easier to move in anyway.

The walk to the car was uneventful and he dozed off a bit on the way home. He woke up when they stopped at the pharmacy to pick up his medication, but decided to stay in the car rather than go in. He had started to drift off again, but something felt wrong. It was probably just paranoia, but he looked out the windows of the car to make sure there was no one around that was paying him undue attention. His eyes skipped over it at first, but when they were drawn back it was like a physical blow. Down the street a ways and across the road was the alley where his attack had taken place. The memories came on like a tsunami. Most of them were segmented, but they were vivid all the same.

He couldn't breathe. There was an invisible vice around his chest and he was going to be sick. His hands were shaking too bad for him to open the door to the car so he ended up leaning forward and retching all over his shoes. It was happening again. He couldn't stop it. It hurt and he was so afraid. His heart was pounding and there was sweat dripping into his eyes. Where was Tadashi? He needed him, he needed to get out of here. They were still here, he couldn't get away. Fuck. He could still feel their hands pulling at his clothes, tearing them off of him and leaving him bare to the world. 

“Tadashi. Please help me. Please. Tadashi. I'm sorry. Make it stop.” He was sobbing uncontrollably and he felt like he was going to black out if he didn't get oxygen soon. There was something at the periphery of his awareness. It was pulling him. 

“Hiro! Hiro breathe! Someone help!” It was his aunt. He tried to focus on her voice but it wasn't working. He couldn't focus on anything. There was too much, and her panic was adding to his. The world was churning around him like a stormy sea. His aunt was doing something but he couldn't see. There was someone else there with her now. He curled in on himself as much as he could with the shaking.

“Hiro I need you to calm down. I want you to focus on my voice and we're going to breathe together okay.” It wasn't a question, or a demand, it was just a calm statement of fact. The voice was steady and soothing, giving him a lifeline to some sense of equilibrium. “Okay, breathe in,” a long pause where he could her the exaggerated intake of breath helping him to pace himself, “and out.” Another long pause as he struggled to follow the pattern. “Again.” He wasn't sure how long he sat there just struggling to get control of his breathing, but when he was finally calm again he could see his hero.

She was a black woman probably in her mid fifties judging by the amount of gray in her hair, which was in long beautiful dreads that fell midway down her back. There was a strong maternal air about her, as if she had many years of experience taking care of people. She was dressed in business casual and seemed relaxed despite the situation. “Good Hiro. You've done very well. Now do you think you'll be okay?” He nodded still not feeling up to talking. “This might be a bit personal, but have you had problems with this sort of thing happening before?” He shook his head to indicate a negative. “Well then, if you didn't know, what you just went through is sometimes referred to as a panic attack. If you aren't seeing someone about it yet I suggest that you find someone to help you. My name is Tess and I'm a licensed counselor. If you'd like I can help you, or if you don't want my help I can give you a list of other people that can help you. It's all up to you, but I think you would benefit greatly from seeing someone, and it should be someone you feel comfortable with so don't feel like you have to settle for the first person.” As she was saying her part she was addressing both Hiro and his aunt. 

It made Hiro feel as if he had some say in his mental health, and he liked the inclusion. He knew that as a minor his aunt had the most control, but even if he had a small level of influence it felt better. He liked Tess and he felt like he might be able to talk to her, unlike the doctor he had seen at the hospital. “I'm going to give you both a copy of my card so that you can contact me. I'm also going to give you the number to a help hotline in case you need it. There's also a website that can give you basic information on how to help someone having an attack.” She handed Hiro her plain business card with a number written on the back with the word 'help' next to it. The card she handed his aunt clearly had a bit more info on the back, but Hiro was fine with that.

“If you think you're okay to get going I'll leave it at that, but if you need anything else let me know and I'll stick around as long as you need.” She looked to both of them for their input. His aunt just turned to him letting him know that it was his decision. 

“I'm ready to go home. Thank you.” His throat was a bit raspy, but at least he felt stable enough to talk even if he was still trembling faintly. His aunt turned back to Tess and smiled shakily.

“Thank you so much for your help. I don't know what I would have done without you.” With a few more parting words his aunt got back into the car and started it up to get them home. Hiro focused his gaze steadily on his feet to avoid seeing the alley again. The state of his shoes reminded him that he had been sick. He would need a bath when he got home, and the truck would need to be cleaned.

“I'm sorry aunt Cass, I tried to roll down the window or open the door, but.” She didn't even spare the foot well a look. Her right hand came off of the steering wheel and came to rest gently on his shoulder. 

“It's okay Hiro. The truck needed to be cleaned anyway. As long as you're okay, it doesn't matter.” It didn't take them long to get home, but Hiro still felt like it was an eternity.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Several lines of dialogue are taken from the movie for this chapter. I'm going to try speeding up with my posts. Currently I'm working on the last chapter of the fic, and even though it isn't going all that well I feel confident that I can finish it before I run out of buffer. That being said I still need to proofread and touch-up the chapters before I post them so I'm going to try for every other day. Comments and Kudos are what fuel my writing drive so every bit is appreciated. Thanks so much to Sorakus and Sultan for your comments!

When the truck was parked in its normal spot at the back of the cafe Hiro almost felt back to normal. At least it felt good to be back home. He didn't necessarily feel completely at ease, but he was less on edge than he had been at the hospital or on the ride home. Muscles he hadn't even known had been tense relaxed and he was ready to sleep again. First he had to get washed and make it up to his bed though. That might prove to be a bit of a problem as his legs were still shaking slightly and felt heavier than normal. Maybe it was best to take things one at a time. The first goal would be getting out of the truck, then he could worry about everything else.

“Hiro?” He startled slightly. He had forgotten that his aunt Cass was in the car with him. She looked concerned and it was only then that Hiro realized he had probably been sitting there for awhile.

“I'm fine aunt Cass, just tired. Can you please bring my stuff in and I'll be in in a few minutes.” She hesitated but nodded all the same grabbing the few things that had come home with Hiro from the hospital. Once she left he started working on getting himself inside the cafe. In contrast to earlier that day opening the door to the truck proved fairly easy this time around. After that he shifted around until his legs were facing outward and grabbed the handle over the door to use as a support as he stood up for the first time in what felt like far too long. 

He used the side of the truck to help hold his weight as he shuffled along it toward the back door of the cafe. Once he was out in the open away from the shelter of the truck his trembling got worse. He hadn't realized when he was inside the truck how late it had gotten. The sun had started to set and was casting long shadows across the ground, and Hiro was outside on his own. It wasn't far to the relative safety of the indoors but the distance now seemed insurmountable. There could be people anywhere out here and at his pace if they came after him he wouldn't stand a chance of escape. He couldn't do this. 

His legs gave out beneath him leaving him sitting on the pavement. Some ways away he heard police sirens and he curled in on himself as much as possible. His breathing was getting shallow and he focused on trying to keep it even. Black spots had begun to appear in his vision when he head the door to the cafe open.

“Hiro!” His aunt rushed over and fell to the ground beside him. Immediately she started checking him over for injury before she tilted his face up from where it had been buried in his knees. “Hiro look at me. I'm here and everything is fine. You're safe. I want you to breathe with me.” He focused on his aunt and was able to calm down enough to talk.

“I'm fine aunt Cass. I don't need to do breathing. I just lost my balance is all. Can you help me inside please?” It was obvious that she didn't buy the excuse that he had given, but she seemed ready to let it slide so Hiro didn't dwell on it. With some assistance he was back on his feet and leaning a significant portion of his weight on her as they made their way into the cafe. Once they were finally inside they made it to the table closest to the base of the stairs and stopped. Hiro took a seat and his aunt sat across from him. They were both breathing hard and exhausted.

“You know. You're heavier than you look. I think we're going to have to wait for Tadashi in order to get you upstairs safely.” The idea of Tadashi helping him up the stairs was both appealing and daunting. He loved Tadashi and being near him was comforting, but it was also exciting in inappropriate ways and he couldn't lose Tadashi now. He needed is brother too much to lose him because of his perversions. On top of that he wasn't ready for his body to react like that, the thought of anyone touching him in a sexual manner was undesired to say the least. All that aside he didn't want to wait downstairs for Tadashi to get home for a much simpler reason. He stank. He desperately needed to get rid of his shoes and get a bath, a change of clothes, and brush his teeth. The smell of vomit was horrible.

“So, there's no other way? I could really use a bath and I'm not sure when-” He was cut off mid sentence when his brother opened the door.

“Aunt Cass, Hiro, I'm home. Oh. Hey guys, how's eve- whoa. Um. What smells?” Tadashi had spotted them at the table and approached, but stopped when he got closer. The table hid the bottom of Hiro's pant and his shoes so he raised his hand in answer to Tadashi's question as an embarrassed flush took over his face. The look of guilt that crossed his brother's face was both gratifying and upsetting Tadashi hadn't meant anything by his question after all.

“I uh, I threw up on myself on the way back from the hospital.” He shifted his gaze away from his brother, too embarrassed to meet his eyes. With any luck Tadashi would leave it at that. It would only upset him more to know the details. That hope was dashed when a gentle hand came to rest on his good shoulder and it's twin found purchase under Hiro's chin urging him to focus his gaze back on the older male.

“Are you okay? What happened?” Maybe he could just keep it vague or redirect.

“I'm fine. It was nothing, but I could use your help getting upstairs so I can take a bath.” His brother nodded and Hiro only had a half second to celebrate his mini victory at changing topics before he was being lifted. 

“What? Tadashi what are you doing? Put me down I'm just a little weak and dizzy that doesn't make me an invalid.” His brother settled him into a bridal carry that was warm and comfortable even though he didn't want to admit it.

“I never said you were knucklehead, but this way will be faster and easier than any other way I can help you up the steps. It's probably safer too if you remember the last time that I tried to help you up the stairs.” That had been a disaster. His balance had been so off that he had almost caused both of them to fall down the stairs, as it was Tadashi had grabbed the railing at the last second. It had saved them, but it broke under their combined weight and it's many years of use before they ever lived there.

“Point, but still...” They had already reached the second floor. By the time he finished another argument they would already be in the attic. Hiro conceded defeat this time and settled in for the rest of the ride. He pressed his ear to his brother's chest and took comfort in the steady heartbeat and deep breathing he could hear. “Never mind, just put me down when we reach the attic. I can walk on my own at least.” Which may or may not be true, but he figured he'd be okay if he had a wall to lean against.

“Right, if you're sure.” They reached their floor and Tadashi kept good on his word. Even though he set Hiro down though he hovered until his brother was safely in a seated position on his desk chair.

“Hey Tadashi, Could you run a bath for me while I get out of my clothes please.” With how tired he was he doubted he could do everything on his own and it would give him a bit of a breather anyway.

“Sure, bubble bath or no?” Unbelievable. 

“Tadashi I'm not a kid anymore.” His deadpan seemed to have no effect on his brother though, who gave an amused huff and turned toward the bathroom to complete his appointed task.

“Right. Bubbles it is. I'll also light some candles for you and I think I can get some smooth jazz on the stereo if you'd like.” He could feel his face flare red.

“I'm not a woman you jerk!” An actual laugh this time.

“Hey, don't stereotype, and don't let aunt Cass hear you say that. Besides the candles and smooth jazz are mine and I'll have you know they're very relaxing.” Hiro couldn't stop the chuckle at that. He regretted it a bit though as his ribs reminded him that they weren't healed yet. By the time his brother came out of the bathroom he was stripped down to his boxer briefs and was able to send his dirty clothes with his brother to be washed. As it turned out his brother had gone through with his threat and there were both lit candles and bubbles.

Tadashi had been right though it was relaxing. Hiro sank into the bath gingerly, not because of the water which was at the perfect temperature, but because he had no idea what might set off a wave of pain from the broken bones he had sustained. He was especially careful given that he'd taken his sling off to keep it from getting wet. The earlier tiredness was setting in now that there wasn't anything that needed his attention so he hurried to wash himself and decided to soak for a bit. Sleep was at the edges of his mind, but he didn't do anything to resist it.

The bubbles had mostly dissipated, the candles had burned down to almost nothing, and the water was rapidly moving toward cold when he woke up. He could redraw the bath, but his neck was already protesting from his nap so he decided it was time to get out. After he had drained the bath he realized that getting out of the tub here might not be as easy as it had been to get out of the tub at the hospital when he had taken a bath there. There were no bars to grab onto and nothing to add traction to the base of the tub. He settled on pushing himself up on the edge of the tub with his good arm, but his hand was still wet. When he slipped he had less than a second to think about how bad it was going to hurt before he landed back in the tub.

“Fuck. Ow.” The back of his head and his ribs seemed to be protesting the loudest as well as his good shoulder which had knocked into the wall of the shower on his way down. He heard something moving in the attic outside the bathroom and hoped it wasn't Tadashi. Damn that would be embarrassing. The door to the bathroom opened without so much as a knock or a how do you do, and then there was a squeak as something large forced it's way through the opening. 

“Hello I am Baymax your personal care assistant. I was alerted to the need for help when I heard you say 'ow'. On a scale from one to ten how would you rate your pain?” He barely repressed a groan of frustration. What was his brother's robotic nurse doing here? Who cared? How sensitive were its sensors that it heard a muttered 'ow' from the other room?

“Zero now go away.” He would so chew Tadashi out for this later, the thing had hyper spectral cameras, it had better not be recording.

“Zero is an invalid numerical value. I will scan you now. Scan complete. It appears you have fallen. You have three broken ribs, a broken collarbone, and a minor head injury – though they appear to be from a previous incident. Recommended treatment – bed rest.” Unbelievable. 

“That's nice buddy, I tell you what – wait what are you doing?” This had to be some sort of ethical code violation, he'd have to tell Tadashi later. Without so much as asking the robot had picked him up and set him on his feet.

“With your injuries it would be difficult and potentially dangerous to attempt standing from such a position on your own so I assisted you as per my programing.” Well Baymax was right and he was standing now. It was also better than falling again or getting help from Tadashi. Not that he would admit as much out loud. “Your body temperature is low.” The next thing he knew he was being wrapped in a warm vinyl hug.

“Hey! I don't know what your programing says, but that's an unwarranted invasion of personal space. Also I know that I'm cold, I can fix that by drying of and getting dressed. Speaking of, make yourself useful and grab me a change of clothes. Preferably something warm and loose fitting.” As the robot waddled out of the bathroom Hiro sighed and grabbed his towel. He was probably protesting more than was called for, but it was kind of nice to be able to let out some of his frustration with his situation on something that couldn't be hurt by his venting. As he left the bathroom feeling worlds better than when he had entered he noticed Baymax by his bed.

“I have changed my user settings to require more prompting to accommodate your earlier concerns for personal space. Would you like me to assist you in getting dressed?” Huh. Yeah that was some serious programming his brother put in. He wondered if Tadashi had plans for more and whether or not there would be different color options if Baymax went commercial. He could definitely see the appeal for Hospice or senior living facilities. 

“Sure, that would be good.” He walked over and stepped into his boxers and then sleep pants one leg at a time with Baymax's help. It was infinitely simpler than dressing himself right now. When he lifted his arms Baymax carefully pulled a worn sweatshirt over his head. It took Hiro moment to realize that the article of clothing wasn't his. The sweatshirt belonged to Tadashi, and before that it had reportedly belonged to Hiro's mom. It had been from her University days and had the old San Fransokyo U logo across the front. Wearing it was kind of like being wrapped in a constant warm hug. It smelled like Tadashi too. 

He considered telling Baymax to find a different shirt but the robot was already helping him back into his sling and he didn't think Tadashi would mind. His bother mainly wore it when he was sick anyway so Hiro should have just as much right to wear it when he needed to heal. Without asking Baymax pulled back the covers and lifted him into his bed. Apparently there were still some things to be worked out in his programming. 

“You have been a good boy. Have a lollipop. If you are satisfied with your care I can deactivate.” Despite not really wanting it he took the lollipop from the electronic nurse.

“You might want to try some variety with the rewards in the future. I suggest gummy bears. I am satisfied with my care.” He watched the robot waddle back to its charging station and deflate. He rolled from his good side to his back and had barely settled into place before he was asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning for Suicidal Thoughts in this chapter. So this chapter was actually particularly difficult to write. Sometimes it's hard to find the right words to describe feelings, and this time I fell short of the mark. I don't know if the right words exist though so this was the end result. I might post the next chapter tomorrow, if I'm able. Comments and Kudos are welcome, and thanks to InkStainsOnMyHands, Sorakus, and lilenchantress for your comments!

There was someone following him. He knew, but he couldn't turn around to face them. They came from behind and slammed him into the cold brick wall of the building that he'd been walking beside. They were pressed all along his body so it wasn't hard to figure out what was poking him in the lower back. His assailant was yelling insults at him now calling him trash, useless, disgusting, dirty, whore. Other people had gathered to laugh at him as he screamed for help while his attacker yanked down his pants. He couldn't do this, he wouldn't survive another time. Please no.

“Hiro!” He gasped as he shot up out of bed into his brother's arms. He didn't think, just buried his head in the crook of Tadashi's neck and cried. He couldn't see. It was dark and there could be hidden attackers anywhere in the room. His arms snaked around his older brother and he croaked out a plea for some light. He felt his brother shift and then the lamp besides his bed turned on.

“It's okay. It was just a nightmare. I'm here. I won't let anyone hurt you.” With the light on he felt safe in Tadashi's arms. There were no words for the sheer terror he had felt, that was still lurking inside him, so he just clung tighter to his brother. Eventually his sobs died down to sniffles and he was able to extricate himself from his brother a bit.

“I'm sorry Tadashi. I didn't mean to wake you.” He wiped the last of the tears from his face.

“Hey, don't apologize you know you mean more to me than sleep. Hang on a minute.” He got off of Hiro's bed and went to his part of the attic. There was the sound of rummaging, and when Tadashi returned he had a night light with him.

“No, Tadashi I haven't needed one of those since I was three.” This was beyond pathetic. He wasn't afraid of the dark. Except some part of him was, because even the thought of being left alone in the dark was chilling.

“You never know, it might help at least a little bit, and if it does it's worth it.” His brother found a strategically positioned outlet and plugged in the light. When he came back to the bed and turned off the lamp the entire room was illuminated by the faint glow of the little light. “Are you good?”

“Yeah. I think.” He hated this.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Not really, but he doubted his brother would take that for an answer.

“It was just a nightmare.” He could see the frown that pulled at Tadashi's lips even in the dim light.

“It didn't sound like nothing. You were screaming for help. Hiro I know it's hard, but you need to talk about things in order to get better.” The anger that filled him was unexpected and unfamiliar when it came to Tadashi.

“Really? You know huh? How the hell can you know? You've never been through this. You don't know anything.” He rolled over leaving his back to the older male.

“I know that you had a panic attack on the way home. Aunt Cass told me. She was terrified you know, and if that woman hadn't helped what would have happened? You can't bottle everything up. Tell me what happened. Please. Hiro I need to be there for you, but I can't if you won't let me.” Tadashi sounded almost as desperate, frustrated, and ready to cry as he was.

“I...I was in the truck outside the pharmacy. I didn't want to go in because I was tired, but while I was sitting there I started feeling nervous. I thought maybe someone was there so I looked around, but...” He took a deep breath feeling the panic start to come back just thinking about it. His breathing had just started getting irregular when he felt arms wrap loosely around his chest in a comforting embrace. He let himself be pulled back against his brother who had slipped into his bed with him. The feeling of security that permeated him while he was laying with his back pressed against Tadashi's front helped him go on.

“I saw the alley where I was attacked and it all started coming back. It felt so real. It was like it was all happening again. I couldn't breathe and I was so afraid. I felt helpless. I don't – I can't-” The arms around him tightened minutely. 

“Shit. It's okay Hiro. I didn't even think about that. I'll talk to aunt Cass and we'll change pharmacies okay? And thank you for letting me know.” The arms started to loosen and his brother started to pull away making him panic. He grabbed on with his good hand and even though his grip wasn't that strong Tadashi stopped.

“I-” He swallowed around a lump in his throat and struggled to continue. “When you hold me like that it makes me feel safe. I don't w- stay. Please.” He felt a bit guilty asking because he knew he was getting more from this than just comfort, but at the same time he didn't think he could get back to sleep again without his brother there beside him in bed.

“Of course Hiro. If there's anything I can do that you even think might help just let me know. I'll always do all that I can for you. Aside from which it makes me feel better to know where you are like this.” Relief flooded him as the weight behind him resettled closer. It was a bit crowded in his bed, but they made it work.

It was warm and the steady breathing on the back of his neck was lulling him back to sleep, but he wanted to stay awake to relish in the feeling of being held like this. If he closed his eyes he could pretend that things were different. He could pretend that he had never been so stupid as to go out bot fighting the night before the showcase. That he had never been beaten and raped in a back alley only a few minutes walk from his house. Maybe he would have blown away the audience with his presentation. Made a ton of money off of the micro bots that were now just sitting in the garage. 

Acceptance to the school would have been a sure thing. He'd be taking classes with Tadashi maybe. Able to spend more time with his brother, they'd be even closer than they were now, and maybe...no. No matter what the reality his brother would never want him the way he wanted Tadashi. Even if by some freak chance that turned out to be the case Hiro knew better. It would never end well. There were no permanent romantic relationships in this world. They all fell apart eventually, and if that happened then he would almost certainly lose his brother.

He would rather have his brother for the rest of his life and never have his feelings be discovered or acknowledged than to have him for a few years the way that he pined for and lose him for it later. He tried to be content as he was wrapped in his older brother's warmth and scent, but his mind kept slipping back to an unattainable dream. His body was starting to react to the direction of his thoughts, and he felt like he might get sick if it didn't stop. Extricating himself from his brother's arms and his bed was easier than it should have been, possibly an indication that his brother hadn't been sleeping well.

He made his way silently to their shared bathroom and shut the door. Immediately the darkness started to close in around him giving him a sense of claustrophobia that he hadn't experienced before, and he hurried to turn on the lights. The first thing he saw was his reflection in the mirror. He looked underweight and pale. Sickly. His outsides were finally beginning to reflect his insides it seemed. Although he didn't even know what all was going on inside him anymore. Emotions seemed to blindside him these days shifting from one extreme to another. He was drowning on the inside. Sometimes there were so many emotions fighting for dominance that he couldn't properly identify them. The one that seemed to be most constant though was hopelessness. 

It was the dominant emotion right now by far, crushing any others beneath its weight. His gaze slid away from the mirror, no longer able to meet the challenge in his own eyes. As his eyes fell they caught sight of a pill bottle. Upon picking it up Hiro recognized it as his brother's prescription sleep aides, given to him during his first year of college for some minor insomnia. Usually the bottle was kept in the cabinet behind the mirror so if it was out Tadashi had probably used some recently. Even with whatever use it had seen in the past few days it was almost full. It would be so easy to just take a handful of pills and be done. Be able to rest peacefully and never have to face his troubles again.

It was tempting, but no. Everyone that cared about him would be devastated if he killed himself. It would be incredibly selfish of him. He knew that but if they really cared about him wouldn't they want him not to have to suffer anymore, and why couldn't he be selfish? Because if it was the other way around, if it was Tadashi or aunt Cass, or one of his friends losing them like that would break him, and he wouldn't do that to them. All that aside if he committed suicide it felt like he would be letting his attackers win. Just that thought banished all the sadness and hopelessness from his being replacing it with anger. Anger that he could harness as temporary strength.

For now he used it as a blockade against his other negative emotions. It almost felt good to only have to deal with one emotion again for awhile. The rage inside of him burned hot chasing away the cold of his doubts and fears. Before he thought too much more on it he put the pill bottle back where it belonged in the cabinet behind the mirror. He took a couple of deep breaths, and splashed some cold water on his face from the sink before he went back to his bed. Getting back in proved a bit tougher than getting out had. As he was trying to lift his brother's arms out of the way he woke him a bit.

“Hiro, is everything alright?” His speech was slurred with sleep but still clear enough to understand.

“It's fine, I just had to use the bathroom. Now scoot over you bed hog.” Instead of moving his brother pulled him back into bed tight against his body.

“I'm too comfortable. Bitch at me in the morning.” Tadashi nuzzling into his hair was a bit odd, but then he remembered the sleep aides. It was a low dose he knew, but his brother still must be pretty out of it.

“Oh I will. Don't worry about that. Sleep well nerd.” A tired but amused huff that ruffled his hair and heated his scalp, and suddenly he could barely keep his eyes open.

“You too knucklehead.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of suicidal thoughts in this chapter. I almost thought that I would never finish fixing this part up. I think that it's done now though, and having said that I have almost undoubtedly missed a typo or two. The next part can be expected on Saturday. Comments and kudos are very much wanted, and constructive criticism is welcomed. Also thanks to everyone who has left kudos so far, and a huge thanks to lilenchantress, megabot_kid, Australia bear, and ImmortalTadashi for taking the time to comment.

He was pulled out of the best sleep that he had had in what felt like eternity by his bladder. The wish to roll over and go back to bed was overruled when he realized that he had to get up now or face embarrassing consequences later. Faced with that thought he hesitated a full two seconds before tearing back the blankets and hurrying to the bathroom. After he was finished relieving himself he had every intention of retreating back under the blankets and ignoring the world, but that plan was thwarted when upon leaving the bathroom he was accosted by a flying shirt.

“Breakfast is on the table Hiro. Get dressed and come down to eat.” His brother seemed abnormally up beat in comparison to the recent past. 

“I'm not hungry Tadashi. I'm going back to bed.” He dodged around his brother's form depositing his shirt on the older male's shoulder on the way.

“You do realize that you skipped dinner last night, right? I didn't say anything because of everything that was going on, but you need to eat. The hospital told us you hadn't been eating well there either.” There was a worried pout on Tadashi's face when Hiro turned so that he could see him again.

“I'll eat later. I'm just really not hungry right now, and I'm so tired I probably couldn't even hold a fork.” The truth was that even the thought of eating made his stomach roll unpleasantly. Even so it would probably be a good idea to eat. The last time he ate was before he left the hospital, and he had lost that meal all over the truck and his shoes on the way home. His body didn't care that it was running on empty though. It was being pretty clear about its unwillingness to tolerate any sustenance.

“Aunt Cass made all of your favorites, and it might be less of a draw than a deterrent, but I made mom's french toast. It actually turned out okay this time. You probably can't remember, but it used to be one of the only things you would eat when you were little.” If Tadashi was cooking he must really be worried for him. 

“Later I promise, but I need to sleep some more first.” They both knew how this worked by now. Whenever Hiro got depressed or too anxious about something he would stop eating until he absolutely couldn't go without anymore. So naturally Tadashi knew that his promise was empty. 

“Hiro please. This isn't good for you. Eat some toast at least. Eat something, anything.” Tadashi should know better than to think he would give in so soon no matter how much the older Hamada pleaded.

“Not now.” The words came out quiet and firm. It was the last he would say on the matter for now. After he had burrowed back into his covers he poked his head out to check his surroundings. Tadashi was gone, and that was fine with him. An annoying older brother was the last thing he needed right now. Or so he told himself, except he wasn't sure what he needed right now. He wanted his brother near by so that he could feel safe and cared for, but whenever Tadashi tried to help him it just irritated him. Being alone only sounded appealing until he realized how daunting it was. Maybe he could try being a hermit somewhere with minimal contact with people. Or maybe. That pill bottle was probably still in the bathroom.

The covers fell on the floor with the force he used to throw them off. He didn't bother to change out of the borrowed sweatshirt and his PJ pants before descending the stairs. It took longer than usual because his balance was still slightly off, and he kept a tight grip on the railing, but at least today he could make it on his own. The elated look on Tadashi's face when he made it to the second floor made the effort worth while. Aunt Cass looked just as happy when she looked up form what she had been doing and noticed him. There was a pressure weighing on him that hadn't been there before once he noticed that all the attention in the room seemed to be on him. Even Mochi seemed to be watching him from beneath the table.

“I'll try to eat, but I can't guarantee I'll be able to keep anything down.” The words rushed out of his mouth in an uncontrolled gush. After that admission he felt empty and anxious. He was sure that his family knew, but he had never actually admitted to his eating problem. Having it out in the open made it different because now he couldn't even try to pretend it didn't exist.

“Oh sweetie. If you try that's all that matters right now.” His aunt gave him a reassuring smile that helped him calm down a little. 

“Thanks aunt Cass.” He sat at his usual spot at the table, and the normality of it settled him even further - to the point where he thought he might actually be able to eat without too much trouble. After some careful consideration he selected half a piece of french toast from the extensive spread of food on the table. Once the food was on the plate though he lost momentum. Suddenly he lost all will to lift a fork or do anything else. It felt like his limbs had turned to lead, and his mind had been wiped blank as he stared at the innocent piece of food on his plate. Time had frozen around him, and it might never start again, but he wasn't sure why that would matter.

“-ro! Hiro! Breathe!” His aunt was calling to him, and had both of her hands resting lightly on his shoulders grounding his awareness. Only once he focused on her did he realize that he was holding his breath. Taking a deep breath proved to be a stupid mistake, and his ribs readily reminded him of why. The aggravated injury also prompted him to recall that he needed to take his medication, but of course he was supposed to take it with food. Reassuring his family was the priority though, because as he came out of the haze that he had slipped into he could see how distressed they were. Problems with food and pain medications could come later.

“I'm fine. I'm sorry. I'm fine.” He hated the sad look that blanketed his aunt's normally effervescent face.

“If you don't think you can eat you don't have to knucklehead.” He knew Tadashi was just trying to help, but he wanted to punch his brother. Of course he needed to eat, and saying otherwise wasn't going to change anything. It just gave Hiro a false option of stalling, and even that he couldn't take without causing the people he cared about more stress. Aside from not wanting to worry his relatives there were the pain meds to consider. Hiro knew from previous experience that if he ignored the little part of the label that told his to take the pills with food he could end up paying for it later, and not taking them wasn't an option thanks to their intended anti-inflammatory purpose. 

“Yes I do, I'm supposed to take my medicine with food.” He shouldn't have snapped, Tadashi hadn't meant anything by his comment, but he couldn't keep a lid on the misdirected anger boiling inside him. He knew that this whole thing wasn't easy on Tadashi either, and there was no need to make him feel more guilty than he no doubt already did. 

“Sweetie. Have you thought about contacting Tess?” The hesitant interruption from his aunt served to dispel any further spiteful urges clamoring to be unleashed on his sibling. Aunt Cass always seemed to have the best way to defuse a situation whether she knew it or not. 

“Yes. I - could you set up an appointment aunt Cass? Whatever time works.” Both of his family members looked happy and relieved at his easy acceptance of the offered help. Hiro was normally stubbornly independent, but with how horrible he felt, and the way that his brother's pill bottle in the bathroom was never far from his thoughts he had to admit that it was time to get help. In short he wanted to start feeling better as soon as possible. If it was possible to feel better.

“Okay. This is good. I'll go call her right now. I love you sweetie.” The concern and anxiety permeating her words was diluted by a hint of relief, but it still stung him to hear the odd intonation coming from her. She gave him a loose hug before she left to get some privacy to make the call. With her gone he focused back on his plate. He could do this. Half a piece of french toast wasn't going to beat him. He wouldn't let it. He could win. If he could get his brother to stop staring at him long enough to make his stomach calm down a bit.

“Tadashi could you grab my medicine from upstairs? I want to take my pill as soon as I'm done eating.” Tadashi nodded and left for the attic, all too ready to do anything he could to help. The first bite of french toast was far more difficult than it should be. He decided that a blitz would probably be the best method for eating at the moment, kind of like ripping off a band-aid. With that metaphor firmly in mind he tried to eat as quickly as was safely possible. By the time his brother got back from the attic he had finished the half piece of french toast, two pieces of turkey bacon, and a couple pieces of fresh fruit. When Tadashi did get back it was clear that he was troubled and angry. Hiro wasn't sure what had caused the change in his brother's mood, but he was sure it didn't mean anything good.

“Hiro.” Tadashi seemed to cut himself off after the utterance and took a deep breath.

“Yeah?” His anxiety seemed to be increasing ten fold for every moment that his brother held his silence.

“Why – What were you doing with my sleeping aides?” Shit.

“Tadashi, what? I don't know what you're talking about.” That was the wrong thing to say. His brother was angrier now than he had seen him in a long time.

“Don't lie. Last night I left them at the side of the sink, and when I went upstairs to get your medicine they were in the cabinet behind the mirror on the back of your shelf. Did you take any? Were you going to? Hiro you can't – I can't – don't.” His voice came to a strangled halt and it looked like he was just barely succeeding in holding back tears.

“No! No Tadashi I didn't. I wouldn't – I,” It killed him to see his brother so distraught.

“Hiro!” A sharp reprimand reminding him to tell his brother the truth, and not just what he thought Tadashi wanted to hear. He felt like he was going to lose everything he had had to fight so hard to eat just a few minutes ago.

“I thought about it for a minute. I've been thinking about it. I don't want to, but I can't forget it and sometimes I just feel so hopeless, so frustrated, so worthless.” His brother crumpled back into the his seat at the table. 

“Hiro.” This time his brother said his name as if afraid that Hiro would shatter like a cracked vase at the slightest sound or movement.

“No! You don't get to talk to me like that! I'm not crazy. I'm just. I don't know. Nothing is right anymore, but I don't want to kill myself. I don't want to die. It's like there's something at the edge of my mind that keeps pulling me down and I'm trying to swim, but no matter how hard I try I'm still drowning. Every once in awhile I manage to break the surface and get a breath of air, but then I get pulled back down.” Frustrated tears were leaking from his eyes now and he hated how weak it made him feel.

“Hiro I won't let you drown. If you ever feel like you need someone all you have to do is ask and I'll be there for you. Just remember that and ask. Please don't keep things like this to yourself anymore I know that it's personal, but there's nothing that you could say that would make me stop loving you. I need you and I can't lose you because you felt like you couldn't talk to me.” If only. For a brief moment Hiro thought about telling Tadashi about the true depth of his feelings for his brother, but he brushed aside the idea as quickly as it spawned. 

He had enough problems to deal with right now. Best case scenario, which was utterly impossible, Tadashi would return his feelings. If that happened he'd have a new level of support in navigating the emotional death trap that he was currently in; however, with that support there would also be a plethora of new emotionally difficult issues to sort out. The more probable result would be the worst case scenario in which Tadashi would be disgusted and tell his aunt Cass, and Hiro would be disowned. It was a no win situation. For the time being he would stay quiet about those particular feelings, but he would have to work on opening up more to his brother about other things. Just the thought of what the near future would bring made him wish that he could find somewhere to hide until it all blew over. Ignoring problems never solved anything though Hiro tried to reminded himself as he looked across the table at his brother.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much to say about this chapter. Next chapter will be up either tomorrow or the next day. Thanks to hamadork, Sultan, and lilenchantress for taking the time to comment!

“An emergency mode?” It had been a few days since the his first full day back at home and Tadashi had gone on a bit of a trip. All pointy and/or sharp objects had been removed from the attic and the ones on the second floor were locked away. Pills were treated likewise, and now Tadashi had informed him of his latest project undertaken in the name of keeping Hiro safe from himself.

“I've set Baymax to constantly monitor the vitals of people in his immediate vicinity. If they change drastically for some reason he'll activate and initiate emergency treatment procedures while contacting the necessary officials. I had originally planned for Baymax to be used by the elderly and disabled, but it occurred to me that he could also be used for suicide watch or just plain safety. Imagine the good he could do if there was for example an earthquake.” It was good to see his older brother so enthusiastic after he had spent so long being an emotional wreck over Hiro's somewhat coerced confession of his moment of weakness with the sleeping pills.

“Hmm...you know in that kind of situation he'd be even more useful if he had batter environmental sensors. Of course they'd have to be calibrated right in order to avoid false alarms and ensure activation when there actually was a natural disaster.” Thinking about this sort of thing was the best thing for him right now. When he was concentrating on solving a problem like this he couldn't dwell too much on his own issues.

“You're right of course. Any other ideas for additional functions and services?” Plenty, but only a few that were feasible at the moment. If he could convince Tadashi to work together with him Baymax would be sick when they were done. His brother was the best programmer that Hiro had ever seen. His works were an art form all their own. Hiro's strength was in the actual mechanics of robotics, but when you combined their work it was the stuff of a nerd's wet dreams. 

“Body guard mode, and search and rescue mode. With some physical modifications he'll be capable of defending his patients from would be threats and getting to people that it would be too dangerous for rescuers to reach. I'm thinking carbon fiber armor, an advanced scanner to help find the people that need to be rescued, and flight capabilities. With a little work I can rig up most of it, but the end result would be better if you handled the programming, and I might want to talk to Honey about a new form of rocket fuel.” Ideally she would be able to come up with something light weight, relatively cheap, and that had a good input to output ratio. There would only be so much room in the armor to store fuel and there was no telling how long Baymax would need to be able to fly for so the last part was vital. If he got their other friends involved Baymax would be even better. Maybe with Wasabi's help there could be a laser induced plasma blade for cutting through tough material if people got trapped. 

“Sounds great. If you're up to it we can go to the garage and get started on it now. Don't overwork yourself though. You're still healing, and you need to get your rest tonight. You have your first session with Tess tomorrow.” He didn't want to be reminded because as much as he wanted to get better, and he knew that he needed help to do so, he was still apprehensive about the whole thing. Sometimes being a human with all kinds of complex emotional reactions to things sucked. Life would have been so much better if he could have been born a cat. Like Mochi the spoiled lump that only ate, slept, played, and soaked up attention like a sponge. That reminded him of something though.

“Hey Tadashi?” He had been meaning to ask since he'd noticed it but he kept forgetting when he was around Tadashi.

“Yeah?” His brother turned back to him from where he had started loading up a backpack with some additional supplies they might need while they were in the garage.

“Why did you program so many human mannerisms into Baymax?” He had noticed during his few interactions with the robot that it did things like blink or wave or tilt it's head as if confused when it was processing something strange to it.

“Oh that. Well during a few tests with human subjects while I was trying to work out some bugs with Baymax's treatment protocols they mentioned in their reviews that it was unnerving to be treated by something so inhuman. As a solution I programmed in a few basic things and made another program to make Baymax learn a few mannerisms that were commonly repeated by people in the appropriate situations. It took some work, and of course there were some problems, but I think the end result was worth it. Did you ever feel uncomfortable when Baymax was helping you?” His brother seemed worried about the answer.

“No it was fine, but I see how it could have been bad if he was too clinical. Wait, what kind of problems?” For the first time in what felt like a long time his brother looked embarrassed.

“Well there were a few. One of the first problems that was an actual problem was when Baymax started flipping people the middle finger at seemingly random intervals. Then he tried to pick up gum chewing thanks to Gogo. That didn't go well for obvious reasons. Wasabi had him compulsively organizing people's things without asking. Then he started taking and hoarding things which was how we figured out that there was a kleptomaniac in the lab. The list goes on, but eventually I figured out to program a subroutine where he checks any possible new mannerisms against a database of morally reprehensible actions and habits.” By the time his brother finished Hiro couldn't stop smiling. Ah the joys of programming. Which is why Hiro preferred the mechanics. He admired his brother all the more though for being able to do what gave Hiro so much trouble.

“Right. Well I'll let you know if I notice anything that should be adjusted.” His brother hummed an agreement, and they made their way to the garage. After hours of work Hiro had designed a prototype for Baymax's armor. The starting color was green, but he was sure that he would make adjustments yet so he would worry about color later. The project shouldn't have taken him so long, but the entire time that he was working he was distracted by Tadashi. His brother could make him painfully hard without even trying, and he had had to hide it every time. Unfortunately he couldn't hide his problems from himself, and a large part of him felt sick at the reaction his body was having. He was unwilling to acknowledge those kinds of functions so soon after the attack to say the least, but his frustrations were a powerful force that were fast making him reconsider.

Another thing that slowed his progress was the useless train of thought that if he had had Baymax as a body guard it was possible that he would have made it home safe the night of the attack. Except. He probably never would have taken Baymax with him even if he had had the body guard mode back then. In truth there was a part of Hiro that had felt immortal. A part that didn't believe that anything so bad could happen to him. He didn't want to admit it, but when he thought of rape he thought of the victims as being girls. If he hadn't have been so biased maybe he would have been better prepared. He was ashamed of his folly, but he had to remember that this wasn't his fault. Not really. He couldn't keep trying to blame himself for his attacker's deeds. It was never the victim's fault. He did his best to pull himself out of his downward spiral, but found that he just kept slipping further. 

“Tadashi?” His brother jumped, surprised by the sudden break of familiar silence. Refocusing his attention on where Hiro sat by the 3D printer he let the younger Hamada know that he was listening. 

“What's up?” Hiro almost felt bad blind siding him like this. Tadashi didn't know about the dark nature his thoughts had taken on as they worked.

“I know that the attack wasn't my fault, but I can't keep from thinking that if I had done something different...I just I feel so stupid. I was out late, in a bad part of town, provoking dangerous people, I was alone, and I didn't bring anything to defend myself.” He had started off hesitantly, but by the end he was angry. He wanted to punish himself for his recklessness.

“Hiro no. It's not your fault. You had done the same things so many times before, and this never happened. Do you think that just because someone does something reckless they deserve to be punished like that? If it weren't you, but some random person would you think that way? What if it was me that did that? Would I deserve to be attacked like that?” Oh fuck. Hiro was going to throw up. Even the thought of something like that happening to Tadashi was unbearable. Just the suggestion had sent ice crawling through his veins, leaving him with the sense that he would never be warm again. Was this what his brother had felt like when he found out? Still that didn't clear the dark storm of negativity from his mind because he wasn't someone random, and he wasn't Tadashi either.

“No. Never...but Tadashi. We're different, and I don't mean that you're responsible and I'm not, or that you're better somehow. I just mean that well. I. I think I might be gay, and maybe. Maybe they knew somehow or I don't know.” He felt even more sick now. Admitting that he was attracted to men hadn't been difficult - Tadashi wasn't the type to care. His probable sexuality didn't really factor in to his feelings of guilt, that hadn't been what he'd meant to tell Tadashi, but how could he tell him what he was really thinking? That this might be some sort of karma for his twisted fixation on his brother.

“Hiro, that doesn't even make sense. How could they know if you don't? Aside from that it's illogical. Is it a straight girl's fault that she gets raped just because she's attracted to men?” Immediately his mind conjured up images of his aunt, Honey, and Gogo. They didn't deserve anything like that. They were good people and if something happened to them Hiro would hunt down the ones responsible. That was unrelated though. Tadashi was twisting his words.

“That's not what I meant and you know it. It doesn't matter how a girl dresses, or acts, or her reputation, or any of that. You know that I would never believe that it was their fault. You know that I think that those kind of accusations are bullshit. But I'm not a girl Tadashi, and - ” His brother cut him off angrily before he could get another syllable out. 

“And nothing Hiro! In the case of your attack it was very clearly non-consensual just based on the level of violence. There is no gray area when it comes to the responsibility. You said no didn't you?” A pause barely long enough for him to nod in affirmation. “There is never a situation where no doesn't mean no.” A tense silence hung between them following that statement. Hiro, spurred on by nerves that made him unable to stop the words that came out of his mouth, broke the silence.

“What about when people are using safe words instead?” Stunned silence. A blank look came over Tadashi's face, and for a moment Hiro was afraid that he'd broken his brother.

“I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that for both of our sakes.” Tadashi rubbed his face with his hands as if trying to wash away mental images and swiveled his chair so that he could get back to his programming effectively ending the conversation. Resisting the urge to laugh at his brother's predicament Hiro turned back to his own work.


	8. Chapter 8

He had had his first session with Tess today. It had gone better than he had expected. There had been no pressure to open up about what happened. They had talked the entire time though. She had outlined guidelines with him and asked if he had any rules he wanted to implement. Both of them had signed a loose agreement on behavioral rules to make sure there was as little stress as possible for him during their sessions. Honestly he hadn't thought she would give him any problems to begin with, but it felt better to know that he had clearly communicated some of the things that had make him hesitant to see a professional about his mental health. As soon as they began discussing medication he knew she was a good fit for him.

She had explained that as a counselor she couldn't write him any prescriptions, but if she felt that the benefits of medication outweighed the risks she would refer him to a psychiatrist that she knew. He could also ask her at anytime if he felt he needed something more than counseling to improve his mental health, but that he should be aware that there were side affects to medication. Something he already knew. After his parents died his aunt Cass had started seeing a mental health professional. It was one of the main reasons that he had been hesitant to get help. Her experience had been bad. The doctor had put her on a medication, and the side effects had been horrible to say the least. Hiro knew that those kinds of drugs helped a lot of people, but if he could he wanted to go without. Which was why he was happy that medication wasn't the first resort. 

Most of their first session had just been making sure they were on the same page and comfortable with each other. She had given him homework for the second session, a week from now, telling him to think of a list of things he wanted to talk about with her. The time he was given was plenty welcome. Even a genius had a hard time thinking of topics he would be willing to cover with a mental health worker. Just doing the hellos and how to dos had worn him out. He was ready for a nap when he got out of her office. Unfortunately when he got out his aunt Cass wasn't there to pick him up like they had planned so he had called her. 

She had explained that she was caught up in work, and had lost track of time. The waiter that had been meant to take over for her when she had to leave to pick him up hadn't shown up for their shift. Apologizing profusely she had told him that she would shut down right away, and be there to get him as soon as possible. He had told her not to bother though, and had said that he would call his brother for a ride. At the time there had seemed no sense in costing his aunt business, and aside from that he knew it would take her awhile to shut things down. Upon reaching Tadashi though he found out that he was stranded at SFIT with a flat tire, and it would be awhile before he could get there.

The string of bad luck continued when he tried to call his aunt back. They had barely said their hellos before he heard a commotion in the background. Apparently someone at the cafe was having a severe allergic reaction, and she needed to hang up to call an ambulance. Which left Hiro in the reception of the counseling offices weighing his options. He could either wait an undetermined amount of time for someone to come get him, walk the two miles home on his own, or try thinking of someone else to call. Walking was eliminated from the short list quickly because thinking about being out in the city alone was almost enough to trigger a panic attack. So he could wait or he could figure out someone else with transportation that he would be okay being alone with.

Mentally compiling a list of people that he trusted enough to get a ride from he ran through the few possibilities. He didn't know if Honey had any sort of transport. Gogo biked everywhere which made her a non-option. Fred probably lived under a bridge or in his parents basement so he also probably lacked anything with an engine. Wasabi might actually work, he could recall his brother mentioning the group of nerds using the man's hatchback to move Gogo out of her family home and into the dorm room she shared with Honey. Hiro also felt safe with Wasabi in theory at least. He had a hard time thinking of the gentle giant as a threat. That just left getting a hold of him. Luckily he had had all of the nerd's numbers programmed into his phone since his first visit to the college campus even though they hadn't been his friends yet at the time. He dialed the number and waited anxiously as it rang.

“Hello, Hiro?” He didn't realize how wound up he had gotten until the relief washed through him at the sound of the familiar voice. In the background he could hear another voice that he recognized, but couldn't place at such a low volume.

“Hey Wasabi. I know it's been awhile since we talked, but I need a favor. I hope I'm not interrupting anything.” The other voice was definitely female and there would be no end to the guilt if he was messing up a date. He hadn't even known that Wasabi was interested in anyone.

“No Hiro, it's fine. It's good hearing from you by the way. Everyone has been worried, and we miss you. What's up? I'll do whatever I can to help.” It was good to be reminded that there were other people that cared outside of his family, and he felt bad for shutting them out, but he hadn't been ready to see them again after what happened. Today was the first day in a long time that he felt relatively normal, and even then the thought of interacting with them made him a bit nervous. The thing he was most worried about was probably how they would treat him now. Would they look at him like he was a disgusting piece of trash? Would they treat him like something fragile and breakable, or even worse would they act as if nothing had happened at all?

“I know it's short notice and all, but I kind of need a ride. Tadashi has a flat, and aunt Cass is too busy. If you can't I understand, but if you can I'd appreciate it.” Somehow it made him feel like dirt that the first time he contacted a friend after the incident was to ask for something.

“Don't sweat it little man. It won't be any problem. Actually it's good to feel needed. Just let me know where you're at.” The voice in the background came through again and before Hiro could respond Wasabi was talking again. “Um. Do you mind if Gogo comes with? She's here with me and she wants to see you.” That explained the familiarity of the voice at least.

“Sure that's fine with me. I'm at the Wellness Counseling Center.” A surprised laugh sounded on the other end of the line.

“Hey cool my grandma works there. It's a great place. I've been going there for years myself. If you think I have problems now you should have seen me before.” An over emphasized cough in the background. “Anyway we'll be there in about 15 minutes give or take depending on traffic.” Huh it was a small world after all. He wondered if Tess was...it didn't matter, but Wasabi's glowing praise of the place made him even more sure of his decision to seek treatment there.

“Thanks a ton Wasabi I'll see you guys soon.” They hung up and Hiro shot a quick text to his family to let them know he had arranged a ride. It was less than the estimated time before the vehicle carrying his friends pulled up outside the front of the building to wait at the curb. The shortness of his wait was explained as he watched Gogo scoot over from the driver's side to the passenger's side leaving a flustered Wasabi to readjust his seat. He also noticed the smug look on Gogo's face as he walked over, and the once over she gave their mutual friend, but pushed it from his mind as he got in. Imagination could be a terrible thing and he didn't need to be thinking about the possibilities while he was in the car with them.

“Hey thanks again for the lift.” The lift was good, but it was even better to see the two again after how long it had been.

“No problem. Sorry it took so long Wasabi was having some trouble trying to merge so I had to help.” And there was Gogo's impatience.

“It's not my fault no one was letting me in.” It was almost funny to see the grown man pout. 

“It's all good. I'm just glad you could come. It's good to see you two again. So what were you up to before I called? I hope I didn't ruin any fun.” It surprised him how much he wanted to catch up now that he was with his friends again. Talking suddenly seemed like a much better option than his earlier plan for a nap. 

“Nothing much. I was just teaching Wasabi the meaning of pain through the medium of arcade games.” There was no other way to describe the look on the dark skinned man's face. He was smitten. Something that Gogo obviously noticed if the blush on her face was anything to go by. When did that happen? Come to think of it it hadn't sounded like an arcade when he called.

“She's exaggerating our scores weren't that far apart.” What followed seemed to be a conversation through facial expressions that made his brain hurt.

“Right, well I think we need to start driving before we get a ticket for staying too long without feeding a meter. Also assuming that you're official I'm happy for you two.” Talking was nice, but there was a police officer across the way that was eying the car.

“Hah! I told you he would figure it out. I win.” Gogo seemed pleased and it coaxed a laugh from him. It was good that his friends were happy even if they were a bit of an odd couple.

“Sorry Hiro, we weren't trying to be secretive. I just didn't want you to feel uncomfortable around us.” The thought hadn't occurred to him strangely enough, but Wasabi's concern was touching.

“Thanks, but you didn't have to worry. If you don't mind though how did it happen?” Wasabi puffed up like a bird obviously proud of himself.

“I finally confronted Gogo about her habit of stealing my tools instead of borrowing from someone else.” A scoff followed that.

“He makes that sound more manly than it was. He whined at me until I admitted that I think he's cute when he gets all flustered about me messing up his organization scheme. Then he said that he had been allowing me to take tools because he liked me, and things went from there.” Throughout the explanation there was a fond smile adorning Gogo's lips. He may not have thought of them like this before, but it worked.

“Good for you guys being all grown up about your feelings.” Just because he was happy for them didn't mean he wouldn't tease them about it. 

“Shut up. I will come back there if I have to.” Joking was good. He felt better now than he had since he woke up in the hospital.

“I promise I won't make you. So what else is new?” The other two looked at each other briefly to determine who should start.

“I don't know if Tadashi told you, but due to a mishap in the lab Honey and Fred were essentially glued together for twenty-four hours and have started dating now.” That was unexpected to say the least, but Wasabi kept a straight face so he didn't doubt the truth to his words. Even if the statement did seem a bit non sequitur.

“Callaghan got arrested at the showcase. Krei was there from Krei tech industries, and Callaghan attacked him. He was shouting something about his daughter, but the end result is that he's being charged with aggravated assault.” Okay was he in some sort of alternate reality? He didn't know professor Callaghan well, but somehow attacking someone seemed odd for him. He trusted Gogo though.

“Tom the guy developing the rocket shoes for cats has been gone for a few days now. Apparently the controller malfunctioned and the cat ended up running into a wall. It was fine, but it wasn't overly pleased, and once he got the shoes off of the cat it got Tom good.” If the cat was anything like Mochi he hoped that Tom had protection from it. He had tripped over his aunt's cat once on the way down the stairs, and he had felt like it was planning his assassination for months after. Even his brother had commented on Mochi giving him the death stare.

“Open enrollment to the college is coming up. The showcase has passed, but if you apply you could be taking classes in a little over a month.” That sounded terrifying. At the same time the need for mental stimulation had him considering it. If he applied to get in he wouldn't have to register for classes right away. He could wait a semester if he needed. Maybe he wouldn't have to though. By the time classes started he might have healed enough to be able to be surrounded by strangers for a day of learning without too much trouble. Alternatively he could register for online classes so that he could still learn, and he would go back to regular classes when he was ready. It was something to think about in the coming days.

“I think that's just about it. Are either of you hungry? I'm starving.” Traffic was bad today and Wasabi's cautious driving wasn't helping them get anywhere fast. The bottom line was that they were still a ways away from the cafe, and now that food had been brought up his stomach had started gurgling at him. He had made progress with his eating problem since his first day back home so he found himself running through possible places to eat near them.

“I could eat. We should be near Sawatdee if everyone's good with that.” It surprised him that he wanted to eat at a sit down restaurant, but he didn't question it. He was seriously craving Pad Thai. 

“I'm good with it, they actually have some good sushi.” Two out of three pretty much clenched it, but now that Wasabi and Gogo were dating her vote might carry more weight.

“Sounds good. Do you mind if I call the others to see if they want to join?” Why not? Things were going well with Wasabi and Gogo. He missed Fred and Honey, and it would be great to see them again.

“Sure. I'm going to text Tadashi to see if he can make it too.” It was one of his brother's favorite places to eat so he was sure that the older male would try. On top of that he knew that his brother would be anxious to check up on him after his first counseling session. He sent a quick text to his brother, and another to his aunt to make sure she didn't worry about where he was. By the time he was finished they were pulling into the parking lot of the restaurant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes. Notes. Well to start off I made up the name of the counseling center. That being said I can almost bet that a place by that name actually exists. About the rocket shoes for cats – as someone who has had cats since they were in diapers I feel fairly confident in calling them a horrible idea. I could say more on the matter, but as it is the note regarding the subject is superfluous, and I don't need to start a rant. Moving on – I don't know if Sawatdee is a nationwide chain or not so I figure that it's worth putting in here that it's real, and I take no credit for it's awesomeness. Next chapter will probably be up on Tuesday. That should cover the most important stuff, and of course a huge thanks to hamadork, Sultan, princess_jellyfish, RXP4070, and lilenchantress!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I didn't manage to make my self imposed Tuesday deadline (sorry). Real Life has been somewhat difficult the past few days so I didn't get the time that I needed to work on the chapter until now. The rough draft was written while I was sleep deprived, and the 'final' draft was done while I was sleep deprived so apologies in advance if something doesn't make a lot of sense. I may edit this more later when I'm more awake, but I'm hoping that I didn't miss anything. * crosses fingers * The next chapter won't be up for a few days because of the holiday, but hopefully I'll manage to sneak some time to work on writing. I'm sure there are a ton of notes that I wanted to put for this chapter, but I can't think of them now so yeah. As always – thanks to the lovely people who left comments on the last chapter: princess_jellyfish, Sultan, RXP4070, and lilenchantress!

Hiro couldn't sleep. Working on his insomnia was on his list of goals, but he hadn't managed to get to it yet. He had been to a few sessions with Tess by now, and by her account he was making great progress toward recovery. Mostly Hiro credited that to the support he was receiving from his friends and family. It made things a lot easier knowing there was never a point when he couldn't get help if he needed it. One of the things that he had asked for assistance with was his new inability to sleep alone, and after he had managed to ask Tadashi had set up a routine with him. They alternated whose bed they slept in by the alternating days. His aunt knew about it, and hadn't even given the two a second glance the first time she caught them curled up together when she came to get them for breakfast. The problem was that recently Tadashi had taken to waiting until Hiro had fallen asleep and then sneaking off to the garage to work on Baymax. 

It shouldn't have mattered, but without the warmth of Tadashi's body pressed against his the nightmares would come. They were horrible. Far worse than his body's reaction to sleeping next to his brother. His reactions were nothing new, and his brother had brushed it off as morning wood the first time he noticed. The nightmares though were something else. Once one of them got a hold of Hiro he couldn't shake free. Most often they played through the memories he had of being beaten and raped. Sometimes they altered the events to be much worse. Those ones were the ones that had Hiro rushing to the bathroom to puke his guts out when he woke up before crawling into the tub fully clothed and turning on the shower as hot as it would go to chase away the creeping chill of fear. 

The worst part about the nightmares though was that he didn't know the truth. He didn't know whether the worse nightmares were his mind's fabrications or whether they were actually a more complete memory of the events that had occurred. It didn't matter though. What was done was done and he was trying to move on. It wouldn't help to fixate. It would probably help to tell Tadashi about his trouble sleeping but thus far he hadn't been able. He knew all too well about the progress that could be made at the early hours of the morning when he was tired enough that his mind finally quieted down and he was able to consistently hold one train of thought. He didn't want to take that from his brother, but this had to stop. So far he had been going to great pains to hide his nightmares from his brother, but he was exhausted and things couldn't go on likes this. He had applied to school and gotten in. He had even registered for classes with Tess' help during one of his sessions. They would be starting in a few days and he couldn't go to classes as wrung out and haggard as he had become with lack of quality sleep.

As he had gotten out of the shower after his latest nightmare he had struggled out of his wet clothes with help from Baymax as per usual, but tonight was different than the other nights that he ended up hiding his sleeping problems. Instead of changing into a dry set of his normal pajamas he had Baymax find the sweatshirt that he had borrowed on his first day home and put that on with an old pair of Tadashi's sweat pants that had been handed down to him and a dry arm brace. That was the first change. His brother was bound to notice the different clothes, but that wasn't his goal. His goal was to feel comfortable. With that in mind he stole the comforter from Tadashi's bed and the fleece blanket from his bed. Wrapping them around his shoulders like a cape he descended the stairs to the second level of the cafe/house where he flopped unceremoniously on the couch before arranging the blankets into a makeshift nest. 

Fifteen minutes hadn't even passed before Mochi jumped up to lay in his lap. He ignored the cat at first because he was busy picking out what episode of Doctor Who to watch on Netflix, but once he had found one he settled in and started petting the cat. The pleasant feeling of Mochi purring calmed him enough that he began feeling drowsy. He dozed off a few times with the cat as company, but still woke up. The third time he came back from nodding off he got up and grabbed a snack from the kitchen. Which was how Tadashi found them a few hours later as the sun was just peaking above the horizon. Hiro had just shoved a donut in his mouth when his brother ascended the stairs. The older Hamada looked like a deer in the headlights when he noticed that the second floor wasn't empty like he had expected.

“Hey Tadashi want to join us?” He watched his brother blink and look from Hiro to the stairs leading to the attic before stumbling over to the couch. He basically lifted Hiro up as if he weighed nothing, earning a yowl of protest from Mochi who had been settled in his lap, and then laid on the couch lengthwise and pulled his younger brother into a siting position on his lap. Hiro resettled the blankets that had fallen on the floor and as soon as he was done Mochi jumped back up. It was funny to see his brother getting the evil eyes from the cat for once, but his brother looked so tired he probably wasn't even aware.

“Why aren't you sleeping?” The words seemed to be forced from his brother with great effort thanks to his sleep deprived mind. 

“I can't sleep without you there. I haven't been able to get a full night's sleep since you started sneaking off to work in the garage.” Guilt and concern pulled at his brother's tired features.

“Why didn't you say anything?” Hiro paused trying to plan the wording of his reply.

“I'm saying something now. I didn't want to keep you from getting work done, but I need sleep.” his brother nodded.

“Of course you do. Hiro if you had told me before...it wasn't about getting work done it was about -” His brother cut himself off with a yawn, but didn't continue after. 

“About?” His brother's face turned red and Hiro thought he might have an idea. It hadn't occurred to him before that with the recent sleeping arrangements Tadashi might not be getting the alone time he needed to take care of himself, and Hiro knew what it could be like if he had to hold off on masturbating for awhile.

“It doesn't matter. What matters is you. So what's the problem? Is it nightmares?” Somehow that felt like more of an evasion than his brother should need. They were both guys the subject shouldn't be such a problem unless his brother had found out about his unnatural attraction, but if that had happened they would be having an altogether different conversation right now.

“Yeah. Well they're more like memories. Except there are ones that are worse, and I don't know whether they're memories or if my mind just made some changes.” The pending sleep seemed to recede from his brother's face a bit when he admitted the problem. It shouldn't bother him. What was done was done, but not knowing made it hard to move forward even if he didn't want to admit it.

“I don't know what all you remember, but I went to visit one of your attackers in prison you know. I could probably tell you if you really needed to know.” The confession stopped him short. It was kind of like hitting a brick wall at 100 miles per hour.

“Why would you – why did you? Did you know them?” Just the thought made his world tip on its side.

“No nothing like that, no. I went because I needed to know what had happened to you. I needed to know why they did it, and why they thought it was okay. The one I went to see is the one that called the police.” Wait, what?

“One of them called the police?” His brother nodded and his facial expression turned grim.

“I guess you don't remember so if you want I'll tell you what I know.” A moment where Hiro struggled with himself before he made up his mind.

“I need to know.” His brother gave a deep world weary sigh before he stared speaking again.

“There were six of them, and they belonged to a gang. Apparently you destroyed one of their battle bots and they wanted revenge. They knew that you had a reputation for being a fast runner so they decided to follow you home instead of confront you directly. The plan had been to figure out where you lived so that they could take their time figuring out what to do to you, but we live outside of their territory so they improvised a blitz attack. I was told that you went down quick after the initial hit and they surrounded you to administer your beating. At some point one of them said that you weren't a man, but a little bitch instead and that they should teach you your place as one.” His brother looked like he was going to be sick, but he pushed on. “That was when the whistle-blower sneaked away and alerted the police. When he came back they were already on you and there was nothing he could do. He tried pulling them off and got stabbed for his efforts. He said they were going to kill you when they were done. Apparently they were going to erase all evidence by tossing your body off of a pier, but the cops showed up first. I saw the lights and was curious so I looked in and I saw you. Hiro - I. You looked dead. I couldn't breathe for a minute but then the paramedics started performing triage, and the rest I think you can guess.” He almost wished he hadn't asked. There weren't any details in his brother's telling which meant that Tadashi was holding them back, but from the look on his face Hiro knew not to ask.

“I didn't know. What happened to them?” He wanted them locked up for the rest of their lives so they could never hurt anyone again, but he didn't think that he wanted the death penalty for them.

“The one that called the police is currently in protective custody. After his friends figured out that he ratted them out it wasn't safe for him in prison anymore. The last I heard he had agreed to testify against them on a number of crimes in return for reduced sentencing and witness relocation. The hearing for the others is coming up. The first trial will be for what they did to you, but there will be more later as the police build their cases. Aunt Cass has already told them that you won't testify, but you don't need to because of your age and the police literally catching them in the act. If you want though I'll take you to the hearing.” No. He didn't want to see them. Right now they were the monsters in his head, but if he saw their faces then they would be people. Hiro didn't want to think about the fact that it had been people that did this to him.

“No.” His brother just grabbed his hand and held on.

“Sentencing guidelines for rape are two years if you wanted to know.” What? Who the fuck decided that? They would be back on the streets in two years. What if they came to get revenge on him for being the one to get them locked up? How was he ever supposed to feel safe again? “In this case though there was aggravating circumstances so the sentence will be longer, and there are other crimes that they'll have to answer for. They'll probably be locked up for the rest of their lives.”

“Good.” He had nothing else to say on the matter.

“If they ever did get out though you know that I'd protect you right?” If they ever got out Hiro had no doubt that his brother would not only protect him, but preempt any attempted attacks.

“I know.” Strong arms tugged him down until he was laying on his brother's chest. His weight was lifted with every inhale from the body beneath him, and the beat of his brother's heart pounded regularly against his back.

“Let's get some sleep.” The sound of his brother's snores kicked in quickly, but Hiro was still awake when his aunt got out of bed and started making coffee. He was exhausted, but his brain wouldn't shut up about all the things he had just learned.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh. So I'm sick right now, and my head is a mess. I don't know how things are going to go, but I want to have the next chapter up on Sunday. I hope that everyone had a happy holiday and I want to thank everyone who left kudos. Special thanks goes to the awesome people that commented – thesadvoyager and lilenchantress.

Classes had started for Hiro a little over a week ago. He had been almost overwhelmingly anxious the first day. That was put to an end pretty quickly though because it seemed that his brother and friends had gotten a hold of his schedule and went to great pains to make sure at least one of them was present for every class he was taking. Fred had somehow gotten into his ethics class even though to the best of his knowledge his friend still wasn't a student. The teacher had seemed to know him, and Hiro wasn't complaining because aside from the support that his friend embodied he was also good for stirring up interesting debates in class. Honey-Lemon had taken a position as a teacher's assistant in his chemistry class, and always helped the teacher plan the best experiments. The chem lab only caught on fire once, and it was quickly extinguished thanks to Honey's own brand of fire retardant. Gogo was in his physics class, but he wasn't sure how long that would last because she kept challenging the professor, and he looked ready to murder her. Hiro wouldn't be surprised if the only thing stopping him was that he didn't have a plan for the body yet. In contrast to that there was Wasabi who was in his applied mathematics class, and was constantly giving him tips on how to get on the teacher's good side. Probably the worst thing about the whole situation with his friends was that Tadashi had taken over as the interim teacher in robotics for the semester until the college found out what was going on on the Callaghan front.

It was great because his brother knew him so he didn't patronize him or try to slow things down for him. All of his robotics classes were fun, interesting, and challenging with his brother at the helm. The problem was rooted in Hiro. He wasn't sure if he had had a teacher/student kink before and just never realized because all his teachers were old, or if his feelings for Tadashi were giving him a Teacher/Student kink. Either way the result was that Hiro could barely concentrate. His mind was almost constantly stuck in a haze of fantasies. Each different scenario that he dreamed up left him hard and aching which he had no desire to try and explain to his brother if Tadashi were ever to notice his body's reaction. People usually didn't get erections over robots so he wasn't sure what he would try to tell his brother was the reason for his arousal. 

Hiro had a counseling session scheduled to make sure he was doing okay in his classes and college in general, but he might have to see Tess about something different instead. He had met with her enough times now that he trusted her completely, and there was the confidentiality clause to fall back on if nothing else. Either way he desperately needed some input on this from someone more level headed than an emotionally screwed up hormonal teenager. She had helped him to figure out and navigate his feelings well enough before. His recovery was coming along nicely in his own opinion, and he had no doubt that it was thanks to her help. One area that he hadn't healed in though was in the realm of anything related to sex. It had been months and he still hadn't touched himself since the attack. It was embarrassing to admit. He would though if it would help because he didn't want to lose an inch to the menaces that did this to him.

Wasabi had driven him to the counseling center as had become norm, and he would be back an hour later at the end of the session to pick him up and see his grandma. Hiro still thought it odd that his counselor had turned out to be his friend's grandma, but it wasn't a bad thing. If anything it had made trusting her easier when he first started seeing her. Regardless Wasabi was a reliable source of transportation which was why Hiro never questioned what he did with the hour between the start and end of his sessions, especially so when Gogo rode with them to the counseling center. They had a routine, and Hiro kept to it. He was especially grateful to his friend for the ride today, because if he did manage to summon the courage to broach the topic that he wanted to he wouldn't be able to look his brother in the eye for a week. Avoidance would be difficult though if he had to ride home on the back of his brother's scooter.

All of that was hypothetical at this point though, because he had been sitting in the waiting area for fifteen minutes now psyching himself up, and he still felt like it would be a better option to find some cold dark hole in the ground to hide in rather than admit to his problem out loud. The door to the room where his appointments took place cracked open and Tess emerged to usher him in. It was too soon, but he didn't have to bring up the subject today. Waiting was an option, he reminded himself before he could get too worked up.

“Hello Hiro, it's good to see you again. How have you been? How is college going for you?” Her face was lit up with a warm smile that always managed to calm him down at least a little. He waited until he was sitting in his normal spot and facing her before he answered.

“I'm okay. Better than I was the last time I saw you, so I'm improving. Classes are fun, but it's taking some work getting used to the college experience.” He shifted in his spot having an unusually hard time getting settled.

“And how are you doing with the crowds? Are you able to concentrate okay? I know that you were worried about all the new people.” They were still on a relatively safe subject so he leaned into the couch he was sitting on and tried to focus on their dialogue.

“The crowds between classes aren't great, but I get an odd sense of safety out of how many people there are. I know that nothing can happen to me in a crowd that size without someone noticing. My classes turned out to not be as much of a problem as I thought they would be. I don't know how I would handle it if they were full of new people though because my friends have gone to great lengths to ensure that at least one of them is in everyone of my classes.” She looked relieved at the tidbit of news.

“It's nice of them to do that for you, but you should think about a safe way to get used to being alone with strangers again. You said that you didn't want your experience to limit you in any way and unless you get past your fear you won't be able to fully recover.” Hiro knew that, but it didn't mean it was going to be any easier. Still he was determined enough that eventually he was sure he would get to the point where he wouldn't have to wait for someone to be available to go with him in order to go to the store. Another goal was to get rid of the nightlight, but that was a less pressing matter.

“I know. I was thinking about joining one of the clubs at school to work on that sort of thing.” She nodded her approval.

“That would be a good way to start, and how is the removal of the nightlight going?” Hiro knew that it helped to discuss his goals and his progress toward them, but that meant that pretty soon they'd be hitting the one that he wanted to talk about the least.

“Not the greatest. Tadashi is an enabler. Last week he found a projector style nightlight. They had three different designs so he brought one of each home.” They had been cool, but it had been annoying to have that set back. Of course his brother had rationalized it. According to Tadashi he had no plans on getting rid of the nightlight because now he could see when he got up in the middle of the night for something, and since they shared a room that was just tough luck for Hiro.

“Alright, and what do you plan to do about that?” She seemed amused and genuinely curious.

“At the moment I have no idea. Tadashi is probably one of the most stubborn people in the world when he wants to be, and besides if it makes him happy it's not that big of a deal to me.” That got written down in his file.

“What about when you're older and want to move out on your own?” A good question. At the moment he had no plans to move out, but he wouldn't want to live with his aunt forever.

“I'll figure it out when it comes to that. I could be wrong, but I don't think that nightlights are addictive so when the time comes I should be able to quit without too much work.” That was an evasion pure and simple, but he was starting to feel a little defensive. Who cared if he had a nightlight anyway.

“Okay. Well then I know that we've glossed over the topic before, but do you think that you've made any progress toward being able to have a romantic relationship? You're almost sixteen now, and it's natural to be attracted to others and want closer relationships than just friendship. Can you tell me what your thoughts and feelings were about the matter before the attack, and then after? We'll use that information to measure the difference and form a more detailed goal for you.” Shit. It was the same thing they'd done for all of his other goals and it had worked, but now it seemed like some type of torture.

“About that. I was never really normal when it came to that sort of stuff anyway. So maybe we can just leave it as is?” That would never fly with Tess, but it was worth a try.

“Hiro when it comes to human sexuality there is no normal. Whatever it is that you don't want to talk about you know that I would never judge you, and that you should never be ashamed of who you are. That being said if you really want we can skip that goal. These sessions are entirely voluntary so we don't have to do anything that you don't want to do, but I don't believe that it would be in your best interests.” He hated it when she did that. Logically he knew that ignoring his problems wouldn't make them go away. and that putting them off could in fact make them worse. That didn't mean that he couldn't try to put them off for awhile though. Except Tess had a way of making him see how childish he was being.

“I just - can I have the Legos please?” Tess kept several toys and puzzles in the room as a form of stress relief, and if they were going to talk about this Hiro needed them. 

“Of course.” She looked mildly concerned, but gave him the toys none the less.

“So where to start?” He paused verbally, but his hands never stopped moving as they arranged the building blocks letting his nervous energy take form. “I guess I should start by telling you that ever since the onset of puberty I've only ever been sexually attracted to one person. I've tried shifting them, or ignoring them, but my feelings won't go away or change. The most I could do was muster an aesthetic appreciation of others. Even the rape didn't change me in that sense. I wish it had though, because of who the person that I want is. I have sexual and romantic inclinations for my brother. It's always been Tadashi. Even the night that I was attacked I was only out to try and focus on something else for awhile. Something other than how much I want and need him. He doesn't know. No one knows except you now.” When he finished there was a fully formed fortress in front of him. He felt like he would be sick, and he couldn't look up from his work. Instead he continued building by adding wall after wall around his keep. Admitting everything out loud for the first time was terrifying. At the same time it did help him feel better somehow. Denying his feelings had been exhausting, and now that he had acknowledged them it felt as if he had been let out of a too small cage that he'd been trapped in for years now.

“Hiro. I can't tell you what to do with this. There are some therapies out there for these kinds of things, but the ones that I know of are probably more damaging to the patient than the feelings would be in my opinion. I will tell you what I know. I have seen incest tear apart families, but it doesn't always. I think that the best thing for you to do is tell Tadashi. From what I know about him this won't make him love you any less. From there if you'd like you could do joint counseling sessions where I would be willing to mediate. You should remember though that as permanent as things might seem now there is always the possibility that your feelings will fade in the future. I don't think that you should wait for that though as it might also never happen. Whatever you choose to do remember that it is your choice. Also Hiro I want you to know that this doesn't make you a bad person. It also doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you. You're just different from others.” There were tears leaking out of his eyes. He was shaking and breathing unevenly, but it was from the relief. He hadn't realized exactly how much the fear of rejection had been wearing him down until now.

“Thank you. Thank you for not hating me.” Her face softened from where it had been schooled into a professional mask and she approached him slowly giving him every chance to evade or negate before she folded him into her arms. For the rest of the session, and a little over they just sat on the couch while she let him cry on her shoulder. When he was done they pulled apart and she put her suit jacket on to hide the wet spot on her shirt before opening the door and leaving to give him some time to put himself back together. Hiro wiped his face with Kleenex, and when he went to the waiting room Wasabi was talking with his grandmother. If his friend noticed anything different about the way Hiro and his grandmother were acting he didn't mention it, and as Hiro rode home he felt more at peace than he had in a long time.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was far more of a headache than it needed to be. For some reason I couldn't get it to come out the way that I wanted, but I think it's okay now. I don't know when exactly the next chapter will be out because I'll be working twelve hour shifts for the next few days, but I'll get it done as soon as possible. And a huge thanks to Sultann, megabot_kid, Symphonic_Storms, RXP4070, and lilenchantress for commenting on the last chapter - you kept me on task to get this finished! :)

It was almost like fate had struck if Hiro believed in such a thing. Two days after he told Tess about his incestuous thoughts and feelings his first period class was canceled due to the teacher being ill. That combined with his aunt Cass closing the cafe for the day so that she could go to a convention of local food suppliers left him home alone. Tadashi had a class to teach, but would be swinging back by later to pick him up and bring him to his second class of the day. All of it meant that for now he was alone for more than five minutes for the first time in months. 

As soon as enough time had passed that he was sure neither of his family members would be doubling back to grab something they had forgotten he went to his room. He fully intended to use the privacy to take care of something that he had been putting off for too long, and may have rushed a bit much as he flopped on his bed and shimmied out of his pants, pushing his shirt up around his armpits. By the time that he had managed to remove the obstacle his clothing presented he was already half hard in anticipation because of how long it had been since he had touched himself. His hand hesitated only a moment before reaching down to stroke his shaft. The tingling pleasure that the action invoked had his toes curling in his socks and a puff of air escaping his lungs.

At this rate he probably wouldn't last long, but he was going to enjoy every second. Closing his eyes he cleared his mind of thoughts unrelated to his activities and tried to imagine someone else touching him. That was a mistake. Flashes of the attack filtered into his perception and his eyes flew open. As a result of the memories his erection had softened and a cold weight had settled low in his gut. That wouldn't be the end of this though. He wouldn't let it be. Taking a few minutes to calm down and get back in the mood to pleasure himself he tried again.

This time he took a different approach and started by slowly moving his hand down the side of his neck over his recently healed collar bone to his nipple. Stopping there to swirl around it until it peaked then crossing to its twin and pinching lightly. He let himself relax, eyes slipping partway closed as his hand continued down to glide over his stomach. Lifting his hand until only his fingertips were touching his abdomen he circled them around his belly button before going straight down. Once between his legs his hand gave a light tug on his pubes before caressing his revived hardness. 

Eyes sliding fully closed he directed his thoughts this time. Instead of leaving them open he focused them on Tadashi. Trying to move his hands how he thought his brother might if it was him touching Hiro. His grip on his dick gentled just a bit, and the pumping motion became smooth and steadied. The hand not occupied with his cock wandered leaving a trail of warmth in its wake as it explored open skin. Sooner than he expected he could feel his orgasm edging closer. The wandering hand came to tenderly cup his balls, and the other hand increased its pace minutely as he began thrusting leisurely into its grip. The hand cupping his balls massaged them gently for a few moments before traveling up to collect some of the precum leaking from the tip of his cock. Once he had a sufficient amount he spread his legs wide and reached the hand back down to circle two fingers around his puckered hole. 

He felt the edge of a memory trying to surface but forced it back down pulling on a mental image of Tadashi to use as a block. He imagined the way Tadashi would look at him if he loved Hiro the way that Hiro loved him. The picture that came to him was of kind gentle eyes and a sweet caring smile tugging at the older Hamada's lips for no reason at all. He shifted his hand slightly away from his hole bringing his fingers to press against his scrotum, and held that position as best he could as his orgasm washed over him with the vivid image of Tadashi's face firmly at the forefront of his mind. When it was done he just laid there for a long moment relishing in the boneless heat that had spread lazily from his core to his extremities. He had almost forgotten how good it could be.

Only forcing himself to move when he had to in order to get ready on time he moaned lightly in protest when he got out of bed. He almost felt like he was sleep walking as he made his way to the bathroom for a shower. All too soon he was ready and heading downstairs to the cafe to wait for Tadashi to arrive. They would have to be quick getting going so that his brother wouldn't be late for the next class he had to teach so Hiro waited next to the door watching people walk by.

When his brother showed up he hurried out to meet him and climbed on the back of the scooter slipping on his helmet as he went. Pressed close against Tadashi's back Hiro almost felt comfortable enough to fall asleep, but fought off his drowsiness to avoid falling off on the ride to school. By the time they arrived he was awake enough for his next class and after saying a hasty good bye to his brother he walked there. The entire rest of the day was a wash though. He couldn't concentrate if his life depended on it. After his last class he went to his brother's lab to wait for him to be finished teaching. Normally he would have gone to the general lab and visited with his friends, but instead after locking the door behind him he set up with his backpack as a pillow and took a nap.

He dreamed that he was walking down an endless alley in the night. There were streetlamps placed too far apart and no people around. If this were the usual sort of nightmare he would have been assaulted already, but instead of the usual fear such surroundings conjured he felt calm. The calm was interrupted by a spike of excitement as he was pushed against the exterior wall of one of the buildings that he'd been walking along. For a moment he didn't understand his own eager anticipation at the scenario until a familiar and welcome voice whispered hotly in his ear.

“You're mine Hiro. No one else can touch you.” The claim was marked by a bruising bite to the juncture of his neck and shoulder that had him gasping and trembling at a sudden rush of overpowering lust.

“Only you Tadashi.” His confirmation prompted strong arms to wrap around his waist and nimble fingers easily worked open his pants pushing them and his boxers down around his knees. Pressing into his back was a hardness that answered his own and he whined as he leaned back into it. “Tadashi please. I - ”

Further dreaming was cut off abruptly as he woke to the sound of the door unlocking. He stayed in his reclined position too tired to get up, and didn't bother hiding the evidence of his good dream. It might end badly, but it was past time that he told Tadashi about his feelings.

“Hey Hiro are you doing okay? You weren't in the lab with the others, and you look tired.” Brushing aside the air of concern that had settled around Tadashi he tried to figure out how to start. Unable to pick a good point he decided that maybe it would be best if he just waited for an opening. One was bound to come eventually, right? Realizing that he had been silent for a bit too long he hurried to answer his brother's question.

“Yeah I was just taking a nap.” He didn't fail to notice the once over that his brother gave him or the way his gaze lingered on the tent in his pants longer than necessary. 

“Did you sleep okay? No nightmares?” Hiro thought that that would be fairly obvious, but he supposed that some dreams might deliver mixed results. Thinking it over he resolved to use the question as an opening to the topic that he really wanted to talk about.

“Yeah actually I did sleep good. No nightmares either. Actually I was having a pretty good dream before you came in.” He gave an exaggerated pout to test the waters with his brother and see what kind of mood he was in.

“I can see that, and I won't ask anymore. Except I might ask who the star was. Do I know her?” Tadashi was being playful which was a good sign.

“It's not a girl Tadashi.” Was his brother being deliberately obtuse?

“Right. I forgot you like guys. Maybe you shouldn't tell me then. I might have to beat him up if I find out who.” Bullshit his brother didn't forget anything about Hiro. What was he aiming for with the way he was leading the conversation? Something was going on with Tadashi, and Hiro was at a loss at the man's odd behavior. Still as close as he was he had to try to get the words out.

“Actually I don't think that would be a problem because the featured person was - ” Here he was rudely cut off by the older male.

“You know what I actually forgot something in my classroom. I'm going to run back and get it, and then we should get home so that we're not late for dinner. Are you okay with meeting me at the scooter so that we can get going faster?” What the fuck? His brother was a horrible liar so he knew that wasn't the truth, but why was he lying in the first place? In general Tadashi was if anything overly honest not deceitful. 

“Sure we can meet at the scooter. Just hurry up okay?” His brother nodded looking relieved at his acquiescence.

“Great. I'll arrange for Fred to walk out with you so that you don't have to wait alone.” He was just about ready to call shenanigans, but decided to let it go for now and just nodded instead. The next thing he knew Tadashi was out the door and he was waiting in the lab for his friend to show up. He felt like his brother had been replaced by a pod person. Did Tadashi really not want to know who he was interested in, or was he worried about not being able to spend as much time with Hiro? Or he could suspect the truth. Hiro knew that he talked in his sleep on occasion. What if he had been talking before his brother opened the door? Depending on how loud he was being it was entirely possible that he had been overheard. 

Hiro tried to think back on what his dream self had said, but couldn't think of anything overly incriminating. Maybe whatever was happening with Tadashi had nothing to do with Hiro at all. It was easy to forget sometimes, but his brother had a life outside of him. That thought brought about a flood of doubts. What if Tadashi was already seeing someone and hadn't told him? What if the reason he had went back to the classroom had been to see them? What would it matter anyway? It wasn't as if there was any chance his older brother would return his feelings in the first place. The best he could hope for would be for his brother not to hold his deviant thoughts against him. Maybe they would go to counseling. After he found out why Tadashi was acting so strangely. Fred might know something. He would grill him when he showed up. 

Fifteen minutes later as he was waiting beside the scooter with Fred listening to his friend go on about how bad ass Tadashi would be if he were a super villain Hiro had to admit that the blond either didn't know anything, or was a master of evasion. When his brother finally did show up they didn't talk at all. As soon as they had both said their goodbyes to their mutual friend they were off. The ride home was unusually quick as his brother seemed to be hurrying. This resulted in a few rather dangerously sharp turns. After arriving home intact Hiro scrambled off the scooter and almost ripped off his helmet, but his brother was still faster. Leaving him outside on his own at night was something that Hiro never thought that Tadashi would do after the attack, but it seemed he was wrong. What ever was going on with Tadashi had to be pretty big. He hurried inside locking the door securely behind him and rushed upstairs. Aunt Cass was waiting for him on the second floor with dinner ready, but Tadashi was nowhere to be seen. Eating quickly and sharing a distracted conversation with his aunt about his day he finished soon and went up the stairs to the top floor of their home ready to confront his brother. In the attic Tadashi was already in Hiro's bed pretending to be asleep. Ignoring his frustration he let him pretend for the time it took Hiro to get ready for bed. It was difficult, but he managed. Once he had slipped in between the sheets he decided on one last attempt for the day.

“I love you Tadashi.” He had hoped that the way he said it carried all the needed information to have his brother understand, but apparently not.

“I love you too, now get to sleep Hiro. It's late.” Tomorrow then.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this chapter didn't get done when I had hoped, but here it is. I went through several variations so there might be some random disconnects, but I think I caught it all. If anyone notices an error please let me know so that I can fix it. All seriousness aside – Happy New Year! I wish you all the best in the coming year, and hope that the last one was good too. Thanks to everyone who left kudos! Also bunches and bunches of thanks to Mary, RXP4070, megabot_kid, animefan551, and lilenchantress for commenting!

Tadashi was avoiding him. Not all of the time, but anytime that Hiro started trying to confess the way he felt his brother would disappear before he could get a word in edgewise. The older male was being ridiculous about it, and Hiro was getting frustrated. A few days of the behavior was all it took to have him at the end of his patience. So the planning started. One way or another he would get his brother to stay in one spot long enough that he would listen.

Finishing Baymax was a point in his favor when it came to the plan he was developing. The robot was as awesome on the outside as it was inside now. He had fitted it with a more aerodynamic form of the armor that he had originally designed. The new armor balanced weight with durability for optimum effectiveness in probable field situations. The final color of the armor was a bold red that matched the robot's charging station, but he had added some purple to switch things up a bit and add some flair too. The wings and rocket boots had been some of the last components to be finished due to the wait for an effective fuel courtesy of Honey, and having to figure out a wing design that was both effective and compact. Unknown to his brother he had also added rocket fists to the finished product with the intention of using them to clear debris quickly, or at least that was what he would tell Tadashi when he found out. The real reason why he had added them was because he thought they were cool, and because he could.

To say that he was proud of his contribution to the robot would be an understatement. Compared to Baymax all of his other work was juvenile. Of course it remained to be seen how the designs would hold up in practice rather than theory, but that's where his plans to trap Tadashi came in. He had told his brother of his intention to test Baymax's flight capabilities over the weekend, and just as he had hoped Tadashi had insisted on coming along. He had already added extra magnetic holding points to the robot in order to accommodate all sizes of possible passengers, so it shouldn't be too much trouble to fit an extra person on the robot's back.

Just thinking of being sandwiched between his brother and Baymax sent a shiver of anticipation down his spine. When the time finally rolled around they borrowed their aunt's truck to go to the college to test Baymax's new abilities. The truck was necessary because of one of the only problems with the armor, which was its lack of portability when it wasn't on the robot – eventually Hiro planned to fix it so that Baymax and his armor would fit into a compact case that could potentially be carted around on someone's back like a rucksack, but he wasn't there yet. They had chosen the college for their experiment after some thought because they needed a large open area in which to test in case a vertical take off wasn't possible or something else went wrong. As they arrived at the sports field they activated the robot and started fitting the pieces of armor to it. They were both a little tired from the effort at the end and Hiro made a mental note to work on making the armor easier to attach.

After that it was a simple matter of attaching their own protective gear with magnetic grips and climbing on. Hiro latched on first because of his smaller stature. He used the anchor points for his hands and knees putting him flat against the sun warmed back plate. Tadashi climber on over him attaching his hands just past where Hiro's were and his knees further down and a bit wider than where the younger Hamada's were attached. The end result had his brother pressed tightly to his back held there by magnetic anchor points. Before Tadashi could possibly realize how trapped he had just made himself Hiro ordered a take off.

“Baymax wings and thrusters!” For a moment Hiro thought that it had worked, but then they over balanced and went shooting forward across the ground. Using the neural controls in his helmet that he had adapted from his microbots he changed their trajectory and got them airborne. Practice was going to be a must when it came to manual flight controls which meant that it would probably be more practical for Tadashi to design an AI flight navigation system in order for Baymax to be widely usable for search and rescue. As they flew through the air climbing fast Hiro was thankful for the heat that his brother provided. Without Tadashi it would be almost unbearably cold at the higher altitudes. They would have to design a flight suit to take care of that. It would also be good for the flight suit to be made from a high strength material because if they hit anything like a bird going at the speed they were it would definitely leave a mark.

As they wove in and out of buildings testing Baymax's maneuverability Hiro let out a whoop of excitement. There was adrenaline flooding into his system making him elated and reckless. It left him feeling high, but he did his best to manage some form of impulse control. He wasn't sure how long they had been flying for when he finally directed Baymax to set down on one of the many interestingly painted wind turbines that dotted the skies of San Fransokyo, but the sun was noticeably lower than it had been when they started.

“What's going on? Why did we stop?” He ignored his brother and quickly checked the HUD on his visor before he proceeded with the next part of his plan.

“Baymax deactivate magnetic anchors 1, 3, 5, and 7.” That was all the warning that his brother got before he was unceremoniously dropped to their metal landing surface. He waited for Tadashi to gain his footing before he deactivated his own magnetic anchors and dropped. Instead of landing on what would no doubt be wobbly legs after however long they had been flying he was caught midway to the surface they had stopped on by strong arms. Tadashi had the courtesy to set him down carefully even though he was obviously annoyed.

“Hiro what's going on? What are you trying to do here?” He ignored his brother's questions for the time being and pushed forward with his own words before he lost his nerve.

“You've been avoiding me Tadashi. I don't know why, and I don't really care. I've been trying to talk to you about something important for too long now, but you wouldn't listen. So now I'm going to make you listen.” The older male looked torn between concern and panic.

“This is ridiculous I haven't been avoiding you. Baymax get ready to fly we're going home.” As he tried to climb back up on the robot he quickly figured out that he couldn't get the magnets on his gear to stick to the anchor points. “Baymax activate magnetic anchors.”

“I cannot do that. The magnetic anchors are currently under manual commands. In order to activate them you must use the primary neural control.” The robot's words were facts programmed into it by his brother, so he had no doubt that Tadashi understood the truth of his current situation. There was no way out until he listened to what Hiro had to say.

“I won't let you run away from this Tadashi.” He was a bit gratified with the results of his plotting when his brother gave in and turned to face him again.

“And what is it that you think I'm running from exactly?” The older Hamada's expression had turned guarded by now making Hiro wonder what was running through his head.

“I don't know what you think it is, but I have something to confess.” It was easily apparent that that had thrown his brother off. Clearly they weren't on the same page here. Covering the short distance between them he stopped when he was within arms reach. Slipping off one of his gloves he did the same with Tadashi before grabbing his hand. The skin contact between them gave him the extra courage he needed to get the rest of his speech out. “I love you Tadashi. Not as a brother or friend, but romantically. That doesn't mean that I don't love you in the other ways, but it's something more. Something that I can't ignore. You have a right to know though which is why I'm telling you. I've felt this way for a long time now. I don't think that my feelings are going to just go away or change. For years now I kept them secret, and I shouldn't have.” He didn't let go of his brother's hand when he finished. If anything he held the hand in his grasp tighter. There was a long silence before his brother responded.

“Hiro. I didn't – I don't – I'm sorry for avoiding you.” It wasn't exactly what Hiro had been cautiously hoping for, but it also wasn't the worst case scenario.

“So you finally admit to it huh?” He couldn't resist a bit of ribbing to try and lighten the atmosphere around them.

“Yeah, I guess it was pretty obvious wasn't it?” His brother rubbed the back of his neck ruefully.

“To everyone but you. Even aunt Cass commented on it.” They both laughed a bit at that.

“Geez, but all jokes aside I - don't read too much into this because we need to talk, but I love you too Hiro.” The way the words fell from his brother's lips wasn't normal. There was more weight to them and Hiro felt his heart flutter in his chest. Did he mean? Before he could second guess himself he pulled off his helmet, stepped closer to the other male, pushed his brother's helmet out of the way as allowed by his complacency, and stretched up to kiss him. It was different from what he had thought it would be. The meeting of their lips was warmer, somehow sweeter than he had ever imagined it. Leaning into it he rested his weight on his brother's strong frame trusting him to keep them upright. The kiss wasn't overly complex, and it didn't involve any skill – it was more a press of lips than anything, but it was supercharged by his nervous excitement. All too soon the other participant pulled away and reality flooded back in. What if he had been wrong? The pounding beat of his heart in his chest froze at the mere thought, leaving him stumbling without its rhythm to guide his actions.

“Hiro that was exactly what I meant when I said don't read too much into it.” Tadashi didn't seem mad or unsettled in the least - just fondly exasperated. 

“Sorry.” He really was. Even if his brother wasn't holding it against him. He shouldn't have assumed.

“Don't be. You were right, but that doesn't mean that - ” Impulses driving him he cut his brother off again. This time when he kissed the older male it wasn't fueled with excitement, but recklessness instead. Tasting his brother's lips with his tongue for the first time was simple, but a heady experience none the less. When the lips parted and he was allowed in things got even better. The taste of Tadashi's mouth was definitely his new favorite flavor. He quickly lost track of everything in his inexperienced haze as his brother took control of the situation. There were hands and lips and tongue and teeth - it was too much sensory input. It was overwhelming. He tried focusing on one thing at a time, but couldn't decide or concentrate. He was entirely at his brother's mercy, and he had no qualms about it.

The hands rubbing at his hips drew his attention and coaxed a moan from him. Slick lips sliding on his and his brother's tongue massaging the insides of his mouth pulled at his awareness next, but just when he was most immersed in the stimulation the other man pulled back nibbling at his lips as he retreated. He groaned in protest, but his disappointment didn't last long when the mouth moved to the hinge of his jaw nipping there before trailing down to his neck.

He was going to melt if this went on much longer. His brother's actions were bordering on frenzied, and Hiro's genius brain couldn't keep up. At this point he was barely able to control his body as he was dragged through a wave after wave of pleasure. His arms wrapped around his brother's back almost on their own, and he dug his fingers in without thought getting a good enough grip to lift himself. Wrapping his legs around his brother's waist he rubbed himself desperately against Tadashi without heed of his hormone driven actions. Possible consequences could wait – then and there he needed to be as close to his brother as he could be. His brain finally short circuited when he felt his brother's erection brushing against his ass through the layers of their clothing. Instead of washing over him like it did when he masturbated his orgasm crashed through him. He clung on and gasped for breath as he came down from the high. Refocusing on reality he noticed his brother watching him as he held him steady.

Tadashi's pupils were blown and his face was flushed a vibrant red. As he observed him a bead of sweat trailed down from his hair. The sight combined with the chest heaving against his own almost had him hard again. He was ready to try for a second time when he noticed that Tadashi was still hard. Suddenly embarrassed by his hair trigger Hiro scrambled for an apology.

“Sorry I didn't mean to be so fast. Let me just - ”As he reached for the fastening of his brother's pants his arm was grabbed.

“No. I - things shouldn't have gotten as far as they have. I told you that we needed to talk and we do. We need to set boundaries.” What boundaries? And why did they need them? They both clearly wanted this. It didn't seem fair or sensible to him, but his brother looked serious enough that he knew it wouldn't be possible to convince him otherwise yet. That didn't mean he wouldn't test him though.

“I don't understand. Why do we need boundaries? If we feel the same what's the problem here?” Now his brother looked frustrated and a little angry.

“Even if I love you and you love me that's not all there is to this sort of thing. I'm not really okay with this yet Hiro. You're fifteen and I don't want to take advantage. I don't want to hurt you. You're obviously inexperienced when it comes to sex. We need to talk this through and take things slow.” Unbelievable.

“Talk what through? We both want this there's no advantage to be taken, and I'm sorry if I don't have as much practice as you but is it really that big of a deal? I'm ready.” What the hell? How had things gotten this way?

“Not everything is about you you know. You might be ready, but I'm not. We're going to take things slow or we're not going to do this at all.” Hiro knew an ultimatum when he heard one. He didn't have to like it, but there was only one choice that he could make. That didn't mean he would make things easy though. His brother was still half hard despite the argument and it was so driving him crazy not to be able to do anything about it.

“Okay. We'll take things slow. Do you want to take care of yourself then, or are you going to leave it be?” He half hoped that he could at least watch his brother if he couldn't touch him himself.

“We'll wait until I calm down, and then we're going home to talk.” Damn.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the largest chapter of the story – it just wouldn't stop. It's also the second to last chapter, that's right there is only one left. Another interesting trivia fact about this chapter is that I knew it was coming all along, and it's the main reason for the 'E' rating that I chose for the story from the beginning. So yeah, there's that. Also I have run out of buffer, and the last chapter still isn't done so I don't know when I'll have it up – it's getting close though so maybe Thursday. And much thanks to RXP4070, ireneaa, princess_jellyfish, Full_Shadow_Alchemist, Gellie45, and animefan551 for commenting on the previous chapter!

They had been taking it slow now for months. Hiro was ready to scream. Even though he had gotten off more in the time he had been with Tadashi than he had in the past couple of years combined he was sexually frustrated. He wanted to touch, taste, and feel every inch of his brother, but had to abide by the limits the older male put into place. Leaning on his brother to try and pressure him was an option, but it was one he was reluctant to take. Given what he had been through the last thing that he wanted was to feel like he had coerced someone into having sex. 

Those thoughts were the ones that helped him to be patient. It also helped him to understand. If Tadashi was worried about the same things then no matter what he said it wouldn't affect things. Hiro would have to wait and prove through the persistence of his feelings that this was what he wanted and that that wouldn't suddenly change. Eventually he had no doubt that there would be a pay out. When they finally did get to go to the next step in their relationship Hiro might just cry tears of joy.

In the mean time they had been working on their relationship. It hadn't been exactly what Hiro had expected, but he wanted it - the good and the bad. After all, the things that you had to try for were so much more satisfying in the end. Even when he was so angry at Tadashi that he could punch him, he never regretted confessing his feelings or what had come of it. Navigating their shared feelings was by no means easy so there were many fights, but they weathered each one and came out the stronger for it. One problem that had been unexpected was Tadashi's possessive jealousy. Hiro had never suspected that it played a part in his brother's overprotective tendencies until his brother told him.

He had only been told because they promised each other that they would be honest with each other no matter the consequences. Another agreement that they had reached was that if things were to get bad between them, or if one were to develop feelings for someone else they would discuss it and the possibility of ending what was between them. Neither of them wanted to lose the brotherly bond they already had over their romance. After they had laid down some basic rules they negotiated every step forward that they took. Negotiating kinks was an ongoing thing as Hiro discovered new ones fairly often still. One of his favorites that matched up with Tadashi's own was marking.

They had discovered fairly early on that they both got inordinately aroused when Tadashi would leave marks on Hiro. Whether by biting or sucking the marks in the longer they stayed the better. Days after they were left a simple brush of Tadashi's hand over one was enough to set Hiro off. Thanks to that discovery his thighs, neck, and torso were covered in strategically placed bruises. He hadn't yet been able to convince Tadashi to go along with his student/teacher kink, but he suspected that it was only because his brother would want to take it further than their current limits allowed. 

The furthest that Tadashi had allowed at this point was hand jobs and rutting. There had been a few times that it had almost come to oral sex, but each time Tadashi stopped them. From what Hiro could piece together his brother was trying to wait for him to reach the age of consent. Which in the area they lived would be when he turned 16. It was stupid in his opinion, he didn't see how he would magically be mature enough on that set date, but it was the law. 

More than a question of legality he knew that Tadashi didn't think he was ready. According to his brother he wold be happier if they waited at least until he was 18, but that he knew such a goal was unrealistic. He told Hiro that no matter how grown he felt now in a few years he would be able to look back and see how young he was at this age. The older male had used empirical evidence and cited several medical studies about brain development. Hiro knew that his brother was right, but was also unwilling to wait. If it was what it would take he would, but he might literally go crazy in the time it would take. 

As it was he didn't intend to wait a minute longer than necessary. In order to get ready he had spent plenty of time on the internet researching. That had been what made him take an unwanted trip to the store to buy lube and condoms. Choosing the right brands also required research, but he thought he had made the right call. He would have asked Tadashi, but he wasn't sure his brother would be overly cooperative. Once he felt adequately armed with knowledge and supplies he did his best to wait out the remaining time until his next birthday.

On the eve of his birthday he was so excited for what he hoped was to come that he couldn't sleep. Curled up against his brother he was perfectly comfortable, but his mind wouldn't stop racing. What if he had been wrong? What if Tadashi hadn't been waiting for him to turn 16? What if he had been waiting for some unknown sign from Hiro signaling that he was ready to take the next step? What if Hiro wasn't actually ready? What if he thought he was, but when the time came all he could think about was what had happened to him what felt like an eternity ago but that still haunted his dreams sometimes. Maybe it was because of what happened that he thought he was ready.

He didn't know for sure that he was ready for anal sex with his brother, but he did know that he was ready to reclaim that part of himself. Ever since the attack he had felt fractured and at odds. Now he was ready to make himself whole again by reclaiming the last major part of himself that his attackers had held control of, and once it was his again he wanted to give it freely to Tadashi. He was eager and willing if a little bit intimidated, and he hoped that his brother would be able to see that. He couldn't do this alone or with a stranger. He needed Tadashi's love and support. Watching the time slip past on the alarm clock on his nightstand helped to calm him. With each minute he felt more sure. When the glowing blue numbers finally signaled the beginning of the new day he was so excited for what was to come that he couldn't hold in a quiet laugh. 

“Happy birthday to me.” The muttered sentence provoked an answering hum from the body pressed against his back and he smiled to himself. He didn't want to rush things too much, but he didn't want to wait anymore either so he compromised on giving it another 15 minutes before he turned in his brother's arms and placed a feather light kiss on the older man's sleeping lips. The gentle pressure caused some shifting, but Tadashi still wasn't awake so Hiro kept going. They had been sharing a bed for awhile now to keep Hiro's nightmares at bay, but once he had confessed they had become more comfortable with it. Under some duress the older Hamada had admitted that the only reason that he had been fully clothed when sleeping with Hiro was because the press of bare skin drove him wild, and he hadn't wanted to be tempted into stealing unwelcome touches. Once it had been revealed that the touches wouldn't have been unwanted Tadashi had taken to sleeping without a shirt. Hiro planned to take full advantage of the expanse of warm skin open to his access.

He started by coaxing his brother into laying on his back and crawled over the slightly larger frame to settle in a relaxed position straddling the older man's hips. From there he admired the view of the lightly toned torso for a moment knowing full well that if Tadashi was awake he would be too embarrassed to let him look so openly. One of the other things that Hiro had picked up on quickly was that his brother was body shy. He didn't understand why though. In his opinion Tadashi's body was perfect – not freakishly muscular, and not to skinny or chubby. Although come to think of it he would probably look good if he was a little heavier too. 

After he had taken his fill of the view for the time being he placed another kiss on the other man's lips – this one slightly heavier than the last. From there he ghosted his lips along his brother's jaw, and ran his fingers along his brother's ribs making him squirm away just a bit. He would take advantage of his brother's ticklishness later though right now he had a different agenda. Shifting his weight up he grabbed the sleeping male's ear lobe between his teeth and nibbled lightly while rubbing his growing erection against the muscles on Tadashi's stomach through his sleep pants. 

Annoyed by the barrier provided by the clothing he slipped out of bed to stand and quickly discarded his pants and the tank top he had worn to bed. When he climbed back on top of his brother he lay there for a minute relishing in the skin contact as he bit and sucked a hickey into the older male's chest just above the steady rhythm of his beating heart. Finishing his mark he slid down between his brother's legs and looked up at his handiwork. He had to bite back a groan at the sight. Tadashi was spread out before him panting lightly, flushed with exertion, a thin sheen of sweat was beginning to develop, his hair was mussed from sleep, the fresh mark on his chest glistened with saliva in the dim light cast by the nightlight, and there was a tent in his sleep pants.

Hooking his fingers under the waistband of the only article of clothing that his brother wore to bed Hiro peeled the pants down slowly freeing the erection that had been trapped within. Taking another minute just to look he wondered briefly if he could convince his body shy brother to let him take erotic photos of him. Dismissing the thought for later he blew a steady stream of air on the head of his brother's cock where there was already precum collecting. Finally Tadashi blinked his eyes open letting out a groggy moan. Hiro waited for his sleep addled mind to take in the situation before he made any attempt to progress things. He might touch his brother a bit in his sleep, but he would always wait for consent before taking things too far.

“Hiro? What are you doing?” He sounded groggy and confused more than anything. It was probably a good sign because it didn't seem like he had any plans of shutting things down just yet. Hiro really hoped that he had been right about what his brother had been waiting for because he wanted nothing more right then than to swallow down the length in front of him and make Tadashi writhe in pleasure.

“What does it look like?” He traced his hands up his brother's legs to rest them at his hips and blew again on the tip of Tadashi's erection. That certainly woke him up and the groan that slipped past his lips sent a shiver down Hiro's spine. “Yes or no Tadashi? I want this. I'm ready to take things forward, but if you're not we'll wait.” Fuck he really wanted his brother to say yes. Tadashi leaned up on his elbows to get a better perspective and after looking into Hiro's face for sometime he glanced over to the alarm clock on the nightstand. He could see as Tadashi's mind registered the time and date displayed there, and he felt the tremor that ran through the larger body right before the attention was refocused on him.

“Yes, but if you start feeling uncomfortable at any time you need to tell me.” Thank fuck. Not wasting anymore time Hiro licked his lips to moisten them and pressed a kiss to the slit of his brother's leaking cock. The smell this close was heady, and when he licked his lips again he could taste his brother. The precum was salty and slightly bitter, but he found that he didn't care. Remembering what he had read while researching he took care to watch his teeth as he took the head in his mouth. He gave an experimental suck as he pressed his tongue against the head and found a whole new turn on in the way that his brother's breath hitched before he released a quiet moan. He hated it, but they had to keep the volume down to avoid the possibility of alerting their aunt to their activities. Taking in as much as he could without gagging he tried out a few different combinations and rhythms of bobbing a sucking trying to find which one worked best to make Tadashi go taught with restraint as he bit back his louder moans. 

After a bit of that he pulled off and licked his way up and down the entirety of the length of the shaft making sure it was covered in saliva before taking the tip into his mouth again. This time he wrapped his hand around the portion that he couldn't fit and stroked in time with the bobbing of his head. When he could tell that his brother was close by the change in his breathing and the little aborted thrusts that his hips made he pulled off. One day he would be able to swallow down the entire length and he would suck his brother until he came, but today he wanted something different.

“Tadashi I want you to fuck me. I need you to fuck me. Please.” He was already begging and he hadn't even been touched. It didn't matter he was already close to cumming from touching the other male's warm flesh, and from the sounds that he had coaxed from his older brother.

“No, not yet.” That wasn't the answer that he had been looking for.

“Please Tadashi. I'm ready, and I think you are too. I don't know how much longer you want to wait or why, but I'm more than ready to have control over every bit of myself again. I want you to touch me in ways that replace everything that they did to me. I want you to make me forget them. I want to take back what they took from me and give it to you. Please.” Understanding formed on his brother's face and a heat sparked in his eyes, but it was dimmed with hesitation.

“We don't have supplies. I haven't been with anyone in awhile and we can't do this without at least having lube. I'm sorry Hiro.” He really did look remorseful. Hiro leaned up and kissed him letting Tadashi deepen it by slipping his tongue into Hiro's mouth. 

“Don't be. I picked some things up the other day. They might not be the right brand, but they had good reviews.” He shouldn't be embarrassed, but he found that he couldn't meet his brother's gaze at the admission. The heat of what he knew to be a vibrant blush covered his face and crawled down his neck to his chest. A quiet chuckle broke through his unease, and when he matched his eyes to his brother's he saw only amusement and relief.

“Okay, where are they?” He hurried to grab them from the back of the drawer in the nightstand hardly willing to believe that this was finally happening. A larger hand took them from him and Tadashi maneuvered them until Hiro was laying on his back with his older brother supported over him. They kissed again deeper this time than the previous one, and Hiro mewled in protest when it ended. Tadashi just smiled at him and pressed his middle and pointer fingers against one of the marks that he had left on the inside of Hiro's thigh. The action made his hips buck and he had to fight to control himself.

“Tadashi please.” Another deep kiss followed and as they parted a string of saliva kept them connected. It broke when Tadashi moved - taking one of the pillows from the head of the bed and using it to prop up Hiro's hips for a better angle. His bottom lip was bitten and sucked on to distract him as Tadashi opened the lube and coated his fingers. Then there was a finger at his entrance the pad pressing gently, but not pushing in. He tensed and then relaxed as he realized that his brother was waiting. Spreading his legs a bit wider in order to signal his readiness he still bit back a hiss at the foreign feeling as the first finger worked it's way in. It wasn't horrible. There wasn't really any pain, but it also didn't feel good.

The next finger was a bit more difficult to take, but he was preoccupied as his brother worked a mark into his collarbone. Two fingers stretched a bit more, but the feeling of them massaging his insides and stretching him further was not bad. The third finger made him tense again, but he unclenched his muscled when Tadashi sucked bruises over each of the ribs that had been broken in the attack. The tenderness to his brother's actions eased the way and soon enough he was moving his hips to get more of the sensation provided by the intruding fingers. Each time that the fingers moved they changed the angle of penetration searching until they brushed over his prostrate. The electric pleasure that arched though Hiro's bones made him desperate for more.

“Tadashi, I'm ready. Please I want you in me.” For a moment he almost thought his brother might protest, but he knew that Tadashi was almost as close to orgasm as he was from their shared stimulation. When the fingers withdrew he shuddered at the loss feeling empty. He had never felt the need for something to fill him before then, and it was strong as it coursed through him. He waited impatiently as his brother put on a condom and lubed it up. It didn't really serve much purpose because Hiro was sure that they were both clean and as guys they couldn't get pregnant, but if Tadashi wanted to use one he wasn't going to complain so long as it got him what he wanted.

“Are you still okay with this?” He could feel his hole flutter with the desire to clench around a thick cock as the head of his brother's erection was lined up with it.

“Tadashi I have never been more okay. Now quit stalling.” Despite his words the initial penetration had him gasping for breath. It hurt more than he had expected. The girth of Tadashi's fully erect cock was stretching him to his limits, and he had to consciously breathe and relax. Once his brother was fully seated he stopped to let Hiro adjust.

“We can stop at any time if you need to. Just tell me.” The reassurance helped calm him down the rest of the way until the pain had retreated to the dull burn of an overtaxed muscle. 

“I'm fine. Move.” His erection had flagged as he got used to the stretch, but it started swelling again as Tadashi worked on building a slow steady pace. Hiro knew that the slow speed was for his benefit and he appreciated it as he took his time in experiencing all the new feelings and sensations that his brother provoked. With each thrust the motions of their bodies became easier. Hiro had started thrusting back to meet the movement of his brother's hips when the length inside him brushed his prostate. A spasm worked though his body and he let loose a sob tangling his hands in his bother's hair to pull him into a kiss, and bringing his legs up to wrap around the older man pulling him closer.

“There! Again! Tada-” He was choked off by another sob as his brother sped up minutely. Still the pace was almost maddeningly slow, but he wouldn't trade it for the world thanks to the sense of intimacy it instilled in him. Each steady thrust brought with it a jolt of pleasure that had Hiro clinging to his brother. He never wanted it to stop as he dug his fingernails into Tadashi's shoulder blades and tightened his legs where they were wrapped around the older Hamada. The actions spurred the older male on and pulled him deeper into the younger's welcoming heat. 

“Tadashi! M-more plea- ah ah fuck, n-need you.” Hiro couldn't hold back the pleas and noises he was making at the new depth of penetration so he turned his face into his brother's neck in an effort to muffle his cries there. The innocent move on his part seemed to spark a wildness in Tadashi that had been held in check until then. 

“Shit! Hiro! I can't – I need – love you.” Tadashi's groaned words sent electricity down the length of his spine to his core. Their bodies were pressed even tighter together than they had been as if his brother was trying to merge with him, and his thrusts became more forceful driving him deeper into Hiro. Hiro's dick was trapped between them getting delicious friction from rubbing against Tadashi's abs. He was almost writhing with the overload of stimulation coming from seemingly every point of contact between them. Shock-waves of sensation rippled through him from where he could feel Tadashi throbbing inside him, and every spasm that traveled along his nerves was echoed in his brother's body. Frantic panting open mouthed kisses were traded between them as they moved together. They fed off of the pleasure that they gave each other until it looped building into a crescendo as they worked toward orgasm. Incoherent sounds were ripped from them as they lost control, and their frenzied movements reached a pitch as Tadashi's large hands squeezed faded twin bite marks on Hiro's hips at the same time he bit down on the mark he had left on his younger brother's collarbone earlier. 

Hiro came first clamping down on the cock inside of him and calling his brother's name as he spilled his seed on their stomachs. Not a second later Tadashi came as well buried deep in Hiro's body. They collapsed together, and with great effort the older Hamada moved them so that they were laying on their sides still connected. Gasping for air as they recovered Hiro couldn't stop the satisfied grin that claimed his face if he had wanted to. He felt closer to Tadashi now than he ever had before, and the feeling of closeness fueled the warm euphoria unfurling in his chest. 

“I love you Tadashi.” He was only able to get the sentence out once his breathing had evened out and it didn't feel like his heart was going to pound out of his chest anymore.

“I love you too. Are you okay? I wasn't too rough was I? Toward the end I lost it a bit.” Tadashi seemed a bit sheepish about it, and Hiro almost laughed at the difference in his brother from earlier. 

“No. It was good. Great. I'm probably going to feel it for awhile, but that isn't a bad thing.” In fact he looked forward to it, but he wouldn't tell his brother that just yet. Hiro flinched a bit when Tadashi pulled out leaving him with a dull ache of separation. He hadn't wanted to part just yet, but he knew it was an eventuality. 

“I'll be right back.” With those words his brother vacated the bed and made his way to the bathroom. The bed seemed bigger and colder without him, but the view of the older male's backside as he walked away made it a little better. Hiro closed his eyes and listened to his brother move in the neighboring room. Sleep was pulling at the edges of his mind, and he was in a half doze when Tadashi came back with a wash cloth to clean him up. Hiro almost fell into a full sleep thanks to the lulling feeling of the warm wash cloth gently caressing his skin. No matter how clean Tadashi got the two of them the bed was still a mess, so he lifted Hiro up and carried him to the other bed that occupied the room. 

Once Hiro settled in the secure heat of his brother's embrace he was more than ready to drift off fully aware that the day to come would be arriving too soon thanks to the relatively short amount of sleep he would be able to manage. The next time they did this it would have to be earlier in the night. A jaw popping yawn escaped him, and he snuggled further into the warm body sharing the bed with him.

“Hiro?” An annoyed grumble was all that he could manage in response. “Sleep well, and happy birthday. You still have a present coming by the way, this wasn't it.” A kiss was pressed to his hair, and he gave a contented hum before giving in to his body's demands for rest.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the end. I didn't realize how difficult this chapter would be until I started writing it (sorry it took so long). That might have something to do with this being undoubtedly the longest piece of fanfiction that I have ever written, or it could be to do with trying to wrap up something this complicated adequately. I have rewritten this more times than I want to think about, and the last line in particular didn't want to cooperate. Originally this was meant to be a short epilogue, but now it turns out to be a full chapter. I have been emotionally invested in writing this fic from the start, but I'm glad that it's done now even though I'm sad to see it go. I want to extend my sincere thanks to everyone who has read this, and to everyone who helped me finish it by commenting.

When Hiro woke up it was to the sound of the shower running. Tadashi was already gone from the bed, but he couldn't have been gone for too long because his spot was still warm. Rather than joining his brother in the bathroom he rolled over and tried to go back to sleep where the older Hamada had been laying previously. A yawn escaped him as he did his best to burrow into the pillow, taking in the other male's scent in deep lung fulls. As expected he was exhausted from the night before, but he had no regrets. Just as he was drifting off again the sound of the water running stopped and he heard the telltale footsteps of someone else entering the room.

“Hiro, I know you're awake. You need to get up it's already 9:30, and you know that aunt Cass is making you a birthday breakfast.” The mention of food had his stomach growling at him loudly. Ignoring it wouldn't be an option, but if he was lucky he would be able to grab a nap later in the day. Shifting into a sitting position he got out of the bed and padded into the bathroom. Hungry as he was he still needed to clean up before eating. It wouldn't do to go down to breakfast smelling like sex. 

Standing under the spray of hot water from the shower helped him wake up some more, and felt like heaven on his back as it rained down steadily. He took less time in the shower than he normally would have, hastened by his complaining stomach. As he was drying himself off Tadashi reentered having gotten dressed, and they brushed their teeth together. His brother lingered in the room while he put on his own outfit for the day, and they shared a kiss before going down to breakfast together.

Reaching the dining area Hiro immediately knew that something was wrong. Normally birthday breakfasts were over the top with decorations, and more food than all of the Hamadas combined could eat, but this was ridiculous. It looked like his aunt had been up half the night baking treats, and cooking a meal fit for royalty. Even now he could see her buzzing about the kitchen with nervous energy flowing off of her in waves. Catching his brother's eyes they shared a look and held a short nonverbal sparring match over which one of them would speak up. Hiro won by using the kicked puppy look that he had perfected over the years. It always worked on Tadashi.

“Aunt Cass? Is everything okay?” She surprised both of them by slamming down the dish of food she had been holding and whirling around to face them. 

“No. No everything is not okay! I have been up for most of the night cooking and baking – and do you know why?” She was half hysterical when she finished, and neither of them wanted to speak up so they shook their heads to indicate their unawareness. “Because you don't have a door to your room!” Well shit. Suddenly Hiro wished he was anywhere else. How were they supposed to explain this?

“Aunt Cass we can - ”She cut Tadashi off by waving a finger in his face in a chastising manner.

“No. You don't talk yet, because you know what? While I was in the kitchen last night I was thinking, and I realized in between the cookies and the lasagna that I don't need to know when this started. It doesn't matter when it started, what matters is that clearly it's happening. While I was making the base for stew I figured out that it probably doesn't matter how it happened either, but there are some things that I need to know. So I'm going to ask questions and you're going to answer them, understand?” She pointed at both of them threateningly before grabbing a pastry from the mountain of food on the table and taking a large bite. 

“Yes aunt Cass.” Their reply came in perfect synchronization. Their aunt washed down the mouthful of pastry she had with some coffee before taking a seat in front of them. It felt worryingly similar to an interrogation of some sort, and when Hiro's palms began to sweat he shoved them in his pockets to hide the sign of his anxiety.

“So Hiro first. Did you consent to what is going on with your brother? It certainly sounded like you consented last night, but I need you to confirm that. Tadashi do not so much as look at him – you don't get to influence his answer.” Tadashi seemed to shrink a good foot under the evil eye she was directing his way, but Hiro tried to keep from looking at his brother so that it would be clear that he wasn't being coerced into giving a dishonest reply.

“Yes. I consented. I was the one who initiated what's going on between us.” A sigh of relief escaped her, and her shoulders loosened a bit from their rigidly tensed position.

“Okay. Tadashi – did you consent of your own free will without being influenced by your brother? I know that you would give almost anything for him to be happy, but if that's what this is you need to tell us now.” This time Hiro had to fight to keep from looking at his brother even more. He was almost positive that his brother shared his feelings, but if he didn't Hiro wasn't sure what he would do. If this all was the result of Tadashi trying to make Hiro happy he might die from the guilt.

“That's not what this is. I love Hiro too much to lie to him like that. I consented to the new relationship between us, and I don't have any regrets.” Hearing that made Hiro happier than he had been in a long time, and he could almost feel his heart swell in his chest.

“So you're both happy with things the way they are?” That was a bit vague, but of course they knew what she meant even if she was unwilling to say it.

“Yes.” She sighed again, but this time Hiro couldn't tell if it was in resign or relief.

“And you're sure that you wouldn't have any possibility of being happier dating someone that you're not related to?” She sounded resigned, but it was obvious she was grasping at her last few straws of hope.

“Aunt Cass I have never wanted anyone other than Tadashi. I've tried to want other people, but it never worked.” There was no sense in letting her hold on to any false hope.

“I'm in love with Hiro. If I thought for a second that there was a possibility of someone else I wouldn't have risked changing our relationship like this.” He would so kiss Tadashi silly for that later if his aunt didn't send them to an insane asylum or something.

“Last question. Am I responsible for this somehow? I need to know.” Hiro didn't know how she possibly could be. As far as he knew there was no way for a third party to force two others to develop romantic feelings for each other. Feelings were something that he very much doubted anyone had real control over, but hypothetically speaking if their aunt had played some part it wouldn't make a difference at this point.

“Aunt Cass – I don't think that there's anything that you could have done to stop this from happening. Right now you can make it stop. If you want you can call the police, but outside of them interfering I can't guarantee that anything else will affect the continuation of our relationship.” Hiro wasn't sure which one of them reached for the other first, and it didn't matter because when Tadashi's hand caught his midway between them he couldn't bring himself to care about anything other than the warm fingers weaved between his own. He squeezed the larger hand in his grasp as a sign of support for the older Hamada's words, and he received a warm smile in return.

“I just want both of you to be happy, and I don't want either of you to get hurt. I'm not sure that you two having a sexual relationship is the best way to make you happy, and it could end with both of you hurting. You've probably already thought about that, but you're both so young that I'm not sure you're thinking straight. Be that as it may – if you're determined to be together I won't stop you. This might not be the best way for the two of you to find happiness, but I know that police intervention definitely wouldn't help that goal. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I love you both, and nothing will change that. I can't actively support your relationship right now, but I'll do my best to accept it.” That was so much more than Hiro had ever hoped for. He knew this put his aunt in a difficult position, and while he felt guilty about that he was also incredibly happy that she was trying so hard for them. It all just served to remind him all over again how lucky he was to have such an awesome person as family.

“I love you too aunt Cass. Thank you for trying.” Slipping his hand out of Tadashi's he crossed over to the woman and hugged her. She returned the embrace and held him tightly for some time. When they finally let go of each other Tadashi pulled her into a hug next. 

“We both love you aunt Cass, and we always will.” As they separated Cass gave a strangled laugh and wiped a few stray tears from her cheeks.

“Okay. Enough of this for now – on to the celebration. Happy birthday Hiro!” It was kind of funny, but with everything else that was going on he had managed to forget for a bit what day it was. Somehow their aunt managed to banish all of the heavy atmosphere from the previous topic of conversation with her exclamation. 

“Thanks aunt Cass.” The return to normality was a little awkward, but still welcome. 

“So I know it's not how this usually happens, but we're going to do gifts first because I burned the cake last night and I need time to make another.” He would have mentioned breakfast, but one glance at the mess of food covering every available surface had him reconsidering – a strategy would need to be devised before they even attempted to eat or move the comestibles. 

“Don't worry about the cake aunt Cass. You didn't have to do anything for my birthday, so thanks for all the effort that you put in – it's the thought that counts.” He made sure that his sincerity was audible in his words so that she wouldn't confuse them for a simple platitude. Gratification for the effort expended was instantaneous as some of the frazzled nervous energy that she had been buzzing with drained off leaving her form much more relaxed.

“You're still getting a cake whether you want one or not, it's tradition, and it'll be mind numbingly delicious.” Smiling came easy at her 'scolding', and he barely held a laugh in check to maintain the faux serious atmosphere they had going.

“I suppose I can suffer through baked goods for tradition's sake. No, your cakes are always delectable aunt Cass, and I'm lucky to have them. Thank you.” She was quite possibly the most awesome, understanding, and talented aunt alive, and he took her for granted too often. Getting pulled into a reassuring hug was one of the best gifts that he could have asked for on his birthday, but that wasn't his present it seemed as his aunt pulled a small wrapped box out of her pocket.

“You can stop with the flattery. I'll always make a cake for you – there's no need to butter me up. Happy birthday, I hope you like what I got you.” As soon as the box was in his hands he couldn't control his curiosity, and he ripped it open to reveal its contents. Inside the small box was a set of keys that could only be to some sort of transportation. Looking closer at the design it was clear that they could only belong to one thing.

“You got me a scooter?!?” He hadn't realized it until that moment, but the gift was a symbol of everything he wanted. With his own mode of transportation he would have new found independence from others that he was desperate for. 

“Not just a scooter young man. You also get driving lessons. I can't in good conscious let you loose on the streets without having you get a license which is why for now you only get the keys. The scooter will be yours once you fulfill all requirements, but with how smart you are I'm sure it won't take long.” Waiting wasn't something that he enjoyed, but he knew that it was out of concern for his safety and the safety of others that she set the limits – so he would respect them.

“Thanks aunt Cass. You always know exactly what to get for me – I love it.” He really did love it, and he wanted to be sure to tell her so that she didn't second guess herself. She had once confided in him how difficult it was for her to go gift shopping for her genius nephews, and since she had told him he did his best to let her know in no uncertain terms how much he enjoyed everything that she got for him. The effort payed off as her face visibly brightened at his words.

“Not to break up the moment, but don't forget about my gift.” Tadashi's words were joking, but they still sent a wave of guilt through him. His brother's gift had completely slipped from his mind until the reminder. He was sure that it would be something awesome, but he really couldn't bring himself to care what it was. The day had started out a bit rough, but he had more than he had ever expected – he and Tadashi were in love, and his aunt knew and hadn't condemned them for it. Asking for more would be greedy.

“Truly by the time the day is through I will have an embarrassment of riches.” Tadashi only shook his head, and aunt Cass smothered a laugh behind her hand. No doubt his family knew him well enough to be able to tell that for the dodge it was – even if the sentiment was true.

“Unbelievable. I'm not sure you actually deserve this anymore, but luckily for you that doesn't have anything to do with such things on birthdays.” The fond chastisement hit its mark. If their aunt hadn't been there he would have made a joke about their future together as he would definitely be the type to forget anniversaries, but keeping in mind the touchiness of the subject he skipped the joke for an apology.

“Sorry Tadashi.” Doing his best to look pitiful he cheered inwardly at the humored scoff he got in return.

“I'm sure you are. Well it doesn't matter – here.” Taking the proffered envelope any guilt was overridden by anticipation as he carefully opened it, mindful of the damage he could cause to it's contents. Inside was a scrap of paper with an address written on it.

“Tadashi what - ” Before he was able to finish his inquiry he was cut off.

“The address is for an apartment midway between here and the college. I'll be moving in there next month, and I wanted to give you a key, but I don't have one yet. It might have been presumptuous, but I thought that maybe...” A place of their own. This had to be some sort of dream. It couldn't be real. Looking from the paper to his brother's anxious face and back again he tried desperately to get his brain to work. This was – it was – they would be able to be open in their affections. It would be theirs, and only theirs. Unable to stop himself he flung himself at the older man, wrapping his arms around him tightly in excitement.

“Thank you Tadashi! This is – I don't,” bringing his voice down from the near shouting volume it had reached he whispered his last words of gratitude in his brother's ear, “I love it. I love you.” Their embrace was cut short by a cough.

“Whoa, hey slow down a minute. I hate to play bad cop, but there need to be some limits on your gift Tadashi. I know that we talked about it earlier, but that was before last night.” A cold dread settled in his stomach at having his dream of their future taken from him. At the same time he couldn't fault his aunt for it – she was only trying to do what was best for them.

“I understand aunt Cass. Sorry Hiro, I'll get you something else.” Tadashi looked like someone had kicked his puppy, and Hiro probably wasn't any different.

“I didn't say that you couldn't move in together at all. I just think it's a little fast. It might not seem like it, but sharing a room is different from sharing an apartment. So there will be rules involved. The first is that the move will have to wait until Hiro gets his license. If something goes wrong between you he needs to have an out. I trust you Tadashi, but things can't always go right. The second rule is that we're going to ease into this, but we can discuss that later. It's Hiro's birthday, and we should act like it – today we celebrate tomorrow we'll deal with technicalities. Come on let's have breakfast, and then you two can go out with your friends while I make a new cake, and we'll all have dinner tonight.” It was official his aunt was the best aunt ever. He was so happy he felt like he might just burst apart at the seams trying to contain his emotions. 

“Then let's eat. I'm starved, and the food looks great!” Watching Tadashi cautiously pick pieces of food from the structurally unstable heap on the table he couldn't stop the grin that spread so wide across his face that it made his cheeks ache. Shuffling over after grabbing a plate, he dished up with some help from his brother. Eventually they all made it to the couch to sit and eat as they watched a movie. Hiro wasn't paying attention to the screen though. He was too busy stealing food off of the older male's plate. Cuddled between his relatives safe and warm with more good food than he could eat Hiro knew that every hardship he had had to struggle through to get to this point had been worth it for the happiness he had now.


End file.
